Jegulus - I'll be good

Part Twenty-Nine

This part is a bit shorter again, sorry. I guessed I peaked with the last two parts and now my brain is a bit too empty and I can barely get more than two sentences done :( But I still didn't want to let you wait for too long when I already have a finished part. 
A warm welcome to all the new readers that joined the story in the last few days! I hope you've come to stay until the very end too ;)
Hope you like it!

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The whole situation slipped out of his hands so fast, that he didn't really understand what happened.
In the first moment, Regulus admitted his crush(?) and in the second he already stormed off. Yes, James was quite overwhelmed, but he didn't think that his brain stopped working for so long that it was appropriate to disappear. But then he was gone and James stared at the empty spot that he left. This was not good. It was absolutely awful and he didn't know what to do.
After another endless moment of paralysis, he finally climbed off the fence and started to walk back to the castle. It took him almost the whole way to process what exactly happened and when he stepped out of the secret passage, he felt like someone kicked him into the gut and put him through a meat grinder. The whole thing went so wrong. He didn't know what he had expected Regulus would say after his intrusive question. He was such a stupid idiot, really. Of course the Slytherin ran off, regardless of the answer being Yes or No. And he didn't deny it, did he? So the tendency was yes.
James entered the common room and quickly looked around; he didn't want to run into Sirius before he was able to collect himself. He dropped into one of the chairs at the big window and literally sank into it, with his mind spinning. One thing was clear, he needed to apologise to Regulus. But not before tomorrow, he could imagine the Slytherin needing space right now. And to be honest, he was also a bit worried about not staying in one piece if he went now. Reg wasn't violent per se, but who knew if it wasn't differently when he was angry.
"You're back early", Lily's voice appeared next to him all of a sudden, her hand landing on his arm and a kiss on his cheek, before pulling a bit back and scanning his face, "are you okay?"
Prongs sighed soundless and ran his hand through his hair: "My sweet Lily, you always read me like an open book, you know that?" She was such an attentive person, always understanding and never prejudicial. He really didn't know how he deserved her. She even had encouraged him to meet up with Regulus today. But who would've seen that outcome happening?
"That's just one of many qualities", the redhead replied with a small smile, but became more serious then, waiting for a real answer coming from him. He really didn't know how to start to explain it. Sure, she had been calm and easy about the whole topic so far, but couldn't that change anytime? There surely was a limit for how much she tolerated.
"I fucked up, Lily. I really did", he answered after a long moment of thinking and let go of the hair he had grabbed in frustration, "Regulus probably hates me and I couldn't even blame him." No, he definitely couldn't blame him. But the possibility gave him chills and let his mouth dry out, which was nothing he even wanted to imagine now. They were doing so good, he really had the feeling to slowly get to see the real Regulus behind all of this show he was pulling through how he was raised. And the real Black was even better than what he knew about him before. Behind it all he was kind of sweet and caring, in his own ways and braver than he had believed. He didn't want him to regret opening up to him.
"Why do you think that you did?", Lily wanted to know and squeezed his arm a bit, "I'm sure it's not as bad as you think it is."
"But what if it is? He probably thinks that I betrayed his trust or something like that, I don't know. It's really...it's complicated", James mumbled and walked on eggshells around the actual problem. It didn't feel exactly right to talk to Lily about it. On the other hand she wanted him to be honest, right? And he already had stepped on this ground anyway.
"Okay, so...we were talking the plans his parents have for him, like...you know how these people are right? Wanting to marry off their kids as soon as they've graduated and of course they want this for Regulus too. And I asked him, what he wants and...you weren't there, I swear, I'm not just giving myself a pat on the back, alright? So he said, he can't have what he wants anyway and in the whole situation I came to think he means you, but then again, you don't really talk to each other, so...I wanted to know if he was talking about me. And...and he kind of agreed", the Gryffindor brought out very quickly and finally breathing again. He didn't dare to look at Lily. It was one thing to tell her that he was having a stupid crush on someone who could never, in any way, be a rival to her, but it was something else to tell her that in fact, that crush just admitted the same.
The redhead was silent and as he raised his look a little bit, he found her just looking at him curiously and maybe mildly concerned. She was way too good with the silence thing, knowing that it made people talk further.
"I was surprised. Like...really surprised, because I definitely didn't see that coming and maybe I was too silent for too long while trying to process that, because he was dashing off before I could really say something to it. So yeah. I would say, big time messed up", Prongs finished looking at Lily's hands that were now wrapped around his. How could she stay so calm? Everyone else would have thrown hands and absolutely wouldn't just sit there and listen.
"James Potter, did you really leave the poor boy upset and maybe even ashamed?", she finally asked and softly punched his shoulder, "go and fix this. I can't believe that I have to tell you that. Clean up that mess. Apologise for acting like an idiot out of space and tell him how you feel. You might find that it can turn into something good."
The Potter clearly heard her words. But he wasn't sure if he also understood them. Because if he did, what she said with it, was...wild...and totally unbelievable.
"I'm not sure if I understand what you're saying", he admitted after a moment and squeezed her hands. His heart was racing about the possible nature of her words. Wasn't even sure if he was awake right now, maybe it was still in the middle of the night from Saturday to Sunday and all of this was just a dream yet.
The Evans laughed slightly: "What I'm saying is, go and apologise to him. Tell him how you feel. If he really feels the same, then...I'm not the one to stand in the way. Don't get me wrong – I'm not breaking up with you, I love you. But I think that maybe we can work something out, you know? Love doesn't mean to choose between people...It doesn't have to mean this. You love me. And you're romantically interested into him too, so it's fine. Think about it, if you would want that. Me. And him. And then talk to him, tell him about it and we will sit together and work something out."
James was speechless and felt nothing but love and devotion towards Lily. That was seriously one of the last things he had expected, ever. And even more, he saw that she absolutely meant it like that too. No bitterness, no anger, no doubts coming from her. She completely stood behind her words and wanted this as much as he did, just so he was happy.
"I really don't know what I did to deserve you, Lily Evans. You're incredible and I'm eternally grateful for you...I don't know how I should ever be able to give that back to you", he whispered and kissed her forehead, before kissing her lips deeply. He was a very lucky person and no one could say anything else.
"Just be honest. And I'm honest too, then nothing should become a problem", the head girl answered with a smile after releasing his lips, her forehead leaned against his, "it's worth a try. You'll never know if you don't."