Pure Tears. Pure Love. Pure Pain.

Chapter Seven

It wasn't until the late afternoon of the next day when you remembered you were supposed to have spoken to Bucky. You hadn't even sorted out the argument with Steve yet. Deciding you would just find Bucky and talk to him first, you searched the tower. You were filled with guilt for forgetting, you'd promised to talk to him. And it sounded urgent.

You found Bucky in the gym, training, as usual. And he seemed to be training without you more often nowadays. Which made you feel bad. "Hey Buck," you said from over by the door. Bucky looked over to you and smiled sadly. "I know we said we would talk but I forgot, I'm so sorry," Bucky finished up his training and you waited for him so you could talk. "What's up?" you asked.

Bucky took a drink of water from his bottle. "It doesn't matter, I just wanted to ask if you wanted to hang out sometime," he asked. OH. OH. Like a date? After the mess that was the kiss a few days ago? Bucky noticed the expression come across your face, "No It's fine, nevermind,"

"No I do," you said, cursing yourself internally. You were dating Steve. "But is it okay if it's just as friends for now?" FOR NOW? WHY DID YOU SAY FOR NOW?

"Sure," said Bucky, "Tomorrow?"

You nodded before leaving him to train. Now you had to find Steve, who you also hadn't seen all day. He was still mad at you probably. And it was really annoying. You searched the tower but couldn't find him. Bumping into Bruce, you asked if he'd seen Steve. "Yeah, he left with Nat about an hour ago," He went out with Nat? Okay cool. Here you were being eaten up with guilt every time you spoke to Bucky. And he just went out with Nat. "You okay?" asked Bruce.

You had forgotten he was even there, "Um yeah, yeah I'm fine, thanks," you responded before walking away. You went straight to Bucky's room, knocking loudly on the door. If Steve wanted it to be that way, you could play too.

Bucky opened the door, "Y/n?" he asked you, slightly confused, "Are you okay?"

"You want to go out?" you asked. Bucky nodded before grabbing a jacket. You walked with him down to the lobby of the tower. "You can choose where we go," you said to Bucky.

------------------

Bucky had taken you to a cafe in Brooklyn. You ordered a latte before sitting down, and rested your arms on the table. You thought about Steve, about him out with Nat. It made you feel all weird inside. Like you weren't good enough. And that Steve knew it. But why would he ask you out if he was just going to take Nat out anyway? It didn't make any sense to you.

You were going between thoughts when you heard Bucky say your name, "Y/n, are you okay?" he asked you, placing your latte in front of you. Shit. Here you were, out with Bucky, trying to get back at Steve. But it didn't feel worth it. It didn't feel right. You couldn't do this. It was mean to play with Bucky's feelings just to get back at Steve.

"Buck I'm sorry," you said, "I feel like I'm leading you on, but I'm sort of in a relationship with someone I guess, and I don't know why I asked you here, I don't really think this is fair, Sorry,"

Bucky nodded, "It's fine," he said, "But you did kiss me?" the kiss. Oh God that kiss. It was perfect. Every time you saw Bucky all you could think about was that kiss. "Like I'm assuming that was a mistake?" you felt so bad. You were completely fucking things up here. "Yeah, I um I think I'm gonna go," he got up and left the table. You tried not to watch him walk away. Now you'd lost Bucky.

You walked back to the tower slowly, taking the long route, trying to let your head clear. By the time it was dark you arrived back, making your way up to your room. When you got there, you noticed Steve stood by your window. "What?" you asked angrily, slamming the door behind you.

"Where have you been?" asked Steve, "It's dark, and you just come home alone, what is wrong with you? Why are you making so many dangerous and stupid decisions?" you were so angry.

"Me." you said bluntly, "I went searching for you, to apologise, but then I found out you'd gone out with Nat. What do you mean by that? Look I wanted to apologise, but now I think I'm wasting my breath," Steve didn't interrupt you, he didn't respond, he didn't even look at you, "No see the thing is I don't want a dead end relationship Steve, if you changed your mind just fucking tell me," you screamed.

You flopped down on the bed, resting your head against the pillow and looking up at the ceiling. "I haven't changed my mind," said Steve, "I just wanted to talk to Nat,"

"And you expect to believe your bullshit?" you asked.

"I talked to her for advice, on the perfect date, for you, because you deserve it," said Steve, "I don't want to leave you, I want to be the best boyfriend you've ever had. But I can't do that if you don't trust me,"

You couldn't respond. Maybe he was right but you didn't know. And you had to trust him, if you want this to go anywhere. "Just," you stammered, "Don't let me find out from Bruce next time okay?" you asked quietly. "Just tell me you're going out, don't let me think like that, okay?"

"Okay," said Steve, you went over and hugged him. He wrapped his strong arms around your waist as you rested your head on his shoulder. "You wanna watch a movie?" you nodded into his shoulder.

Steve sat awkwardly on your bed, as you switched on a movie. You crept closer to his side, so he could wrap his arm around you, which he did. As the movie went on, you eventually fell asleep. And Steve switched it off so it didn't wake you up. He moved slightly, so that you could sleep more comfortably, before closing his eyes himself.

There was a quiet knock at your door in the middle of the night. Neither you or Steve had heard it. Bucky opened your door slightly, to see if you were awake from a nightmare. He saw you cuddled up with someone. It was at that moment that he felt his heart break. He shut the door to your room, and headed to the gym. Maybe if he hadn't walked out on you things would be different. But it was too late for him. Whoever had you was damn lucky.

Authors Note: We love a bit of drama. I'm such a simp for Bucky omg it's UNREAL. I was so busy writing this that I forgot to join my Spanish lesson. Thanks for reading 💞