Drag Imagines

Brown Eyes: Aquaria

[A/N: ANGST MAMA. I'm not subtle about it but I love Lady Gaga and I got an earworm to this while listening to The Fame album. I also saw a tweet about not giving cheaters a second chance so those gave birth to this chappie.

TW: Cheating]

In your brown eyes, I walked away
In your brown eyes, I couldn't stay
In your brown eyes, you'll watch her go

Here I am. There, I did it. I finally got the courage to. I left.

I'm walking the cold and dark streets of Brooklyn right now. It's so much colder than how I thought it would be so I tug my coat even tighter.

It's scary to walk alone at night, but my thoughts are even scarier right now to be honest. I don't know why I'm broken. I'm the one who broke it off, why am I crying? I know it's wrong to stay but why does a part of me wish I did?

I sit on an unoccupied bench, trying to calm myself. What exactly happened?

It started when she went on tour. Touring sucks. Don't get me wrong, I was very supportive of her and I always felt proud and elated when she gets to do what she loves and achieve milestones, but tour made me miss her. It messed up with our schedules.

Facetime calls exist but they are not existential. We went from calling each other every hour to one call a day, to a text a day, to waiting a day to get a reply.

I wish I tried more when all I could do was to wait for her to reply.

I missed her a lot. So much.

It sucks when you can't touch, hug or kiss the person you love the most. It's painful to not even talk to them. It's excruciating to wait for them to respond to your one text.

When I was waiting for a reply from her, I missed her so much I lurked the internet for content. Hey, if I can't get an update from her, the web surely could help right? It did help me alright.

I saw a video of her kissing a back-up dancer. I can't tell you how much I wanted to unsee every millisecond of it. I knew it was bad for me, but my stupid self replayed it over and over to try to convince that it wasn't true. I stalked the guy to try to make sense of it.

Then turn the record on and wonder what went wrong
What went wrong

The whole time I remember wondering where the switch flipped. How did our relationship change so drastically? Exactly when did she stop replying before five hours? Where did I go wrong?

Before she went on tour, she made me a playlist of what she claimed as our songs.

"Play these when you miss me."

"Idiot, then I'll be playing this every second of everyday." I laughed and he did too.

"That makes me love you more, please do."

I did play it almost every chance I got. At least, for the first half of her touring. I would close my eyes and sit in our bed, somehow imagining that she's laying down on her side of the bed, listening with me.

After seeing the video, I couldn't bring myself to listen to it. It seemed like everything she said to me was a lie. Part of me wants to believe it isn't, she still loves me, maybe they kissed as a joke. Maybe it was all for fun, maybe it was a one-time thing. Part of me thinks that while it isn't all a lie, everything she said to me isn't true anymore.