Pacifier

🍒Della✨

I didn't know it but we were driving into Manchester as Izzy was being driven away.

We pulled up on a country lane somewhere on the outskirts of town and when Sam cut the engine I looked at him in confusion.

He saw the frown on my brow and smirked.

"Well a can hardly drive into the middle of no man's land with a wanted lass in me car in Broad daylight can I?" he said cracking a grin when my frown etched deeper, a level of suspicion he was growing used to seeing in my eyes.

"Then why do I feel like I'm about to be murdered and buried in the woods?" I smirked arms folded in my lap, glowering at him from across the passenger side.

"Cause you're daft," he shrugged, his own smile lackadaisical and easy. Always the same. Like the world wasnt falling down. But it was.

"If I wasnt suspicious would you trust me?" I asked, remembering what he'd said to me that morning, when we'd kissed and id been so sure for a second that I had him where I wanted him.

For a second he looked like he was thinking, but when I saw his smirk still lingering I knew he was only dragging his answer out to tease me. To get under my skin again and wind me up, which he did well in the most infuriating way.

"No," he said, "Della I'd be daft to trust you an you know it..." he grinned, "I know you don't trust me," he said a little lower then, more solemn as he turned to look at the view out the front window.

There wasn't much to see, only the sun going down over the city on the horizon. It wasn't much to look at yet, the sun wasn't so low as to burn milky red and seep into shades of bloodish pink.

I looked back at him, the peace on his face as he looked out the front window and the golden glow bathed his face. He looked tranquil, one hand resting on the steering wheel.

He looked calm, like water stilled in the afternoon, he was soft, gentled by the oncoming evening. He looked like someone who would be gentle with me.

And as I thought again about the way his lips had felt on mine I chewed the inside of my cheek and tried to think straight. But it was difficult with him. He made me feel difficult things.

So when I spoke I wasn't playing the game anymore, when I spoke I was vulnerable and tentative, but he didn't trust me enough to notice and for that I was lucky, though I didn't feel lucky.

"Can we pretend you do?" i asked him, blinking back at him when he turned to me absent minded as if having just left a dream.

"Hmm?" he asked only half paying attention to me as I frowned, shivered to ask him again.

"Can we pretend that you trust me?" I asked, "just for now, while we wait?"

I looked back at him with dark brown eyes, pooling and wanting only truth from him but I knew I couldn't expect that.

Not unless he'd been telling me the truth this whole time.

"Depends," he said, the smirk on his lips between lines the thing that ached in my chest, "you think you can pretend to trust me too?"

I bit my lip, looked at him from where I sat with my knees hugged to my chest and thought for a moment longer. Letting him watch me mull it over. Trying to give myself time to work him out.

I didn't give him my answer until I'd shifted in my seat, moved to try as gracefully as I could, to clamber across the seats into his lap, letting him kick his feet up across the seats. Leaning back into his chest with a small smile on my lips when I felt his arms wrap around me, holding me there careless and calm.