Pacifier

☁️Van🌙

Larry left us in silence.

"Theres really nothing we can do is there?" asked Bondy as he fixed his cap on his head and tapped his cigarette out. The room was smokey, stifling.

I felt a little nauseous.

"Its out of our control," i said, "buts Sam's smart and hes a good lad," i said, only hoping that I was even half right. Deep down I knew that I was, that he'd take care of her, he was canny, he'd work it out for himself, but Della was canny too.

I chewed my cheek.

"You're lucky its not my little sister up in castle," chuckled Bondy then, shaking his head as he wandered out, probably to go looking for her.

"Do you want me to work out a way..." started Bob but he trailed off before I shook my head.

"Just focus on the Reids, sooner theyre all dead she can come home," i said swallowing a lump in my throat. Angry, determined and perhaps murderous.

Worst of all I knew what was really stoking my fire. Who.

Meghan.

She was the only person on my mind when I let that office door swing shut behind me. She had been the woman on my mind all morning. Even when I should have been torn up and focused on other things, more important things, riskier things, things like the Reids, she had been the fuel to my fire. The one who had kept me restless.

The one I could have killed.

The one I was desperate to hunt down.

Those meetings had felt like distractions, all those other issues, the business, the plan, the end game, they'd been distractions. Theyd left me restless, itching to get a hold of her. Itching to get rid of her.

She was the reason my blood ran hot with the desire to kill.

She was the bloodlust burning in me and as I stormed half way across town to hunt her down mt heart raced like my mind as I struggled to remain in control of my emotions.

Perhaps nothing would have pleased me more than to see her dead but I couldn't kill her. I knew I couldn't kill her.

I had to remain in control.

Still when I burst through the doors of the doors of the Amber Lounge it was difficult to level my breathing and remain grounded. Difficult to look Nakita in the eyes and ask her calmly if she'd seen Meghan around.

It was difficult to listen to her answer with the ringing in my ears, the piercing siren sort of sound you usually hear after the guns been fired.

And it was difficult to knock on her door and wait rather than kick it down, shoot the lock off.

"V..." she was smirking for a split second, she didn't even get the chance to get my name out before she saw the flash in my eyes, the villainous, the resentment, the hatred. I cut her off, pushed past her and shoved her up against the door as it slammed before she'd had the chance to breath or try and get away from me.

"Not another fucking word alright," i hissed, seething at the sight of her, one hand round her neck, the other on the gun I was holding to her head. "Not another fucking word about anythin else until you tell me exactly what the fuck you are playing at..." i ground my teeth, inches away from her face so that I saw every twitch as her expression curved from shocked to smirking. And somehow in slow motion it riled me even more.

"You're hot when you're angry," she said with the sound of a laugh lacing her voice.

She raised her hand slowly, held my gaze, eyes twinkling as she moved her fingers up to the gun and held me frozen for a moment. My chest rising and falling ragged with my breathing.