Pacifier

🍒Isabelle🌹

"Izzy," he sighed settling on the edge of his desk, watching me as I struggled with my tears, struggled to hold them back. "Come on sweetheart stop it now, its alright, you're not in trouble alright?" he said but he didn't seem certain himself, he sounded tired. Worn out. Let down.

The fear that that had something to do with me was what set my heart beat racing and my sobs stuttering. I couldn't control it and i couldnt stop. So i just shook my head and tried to hide away.

"Hey no, Izzy don't do that," he said then leaning forward, taking my hands away from my face, refusing to let me hide away, "Iz look at me," he said the harsh tone taking us both by surprise, as I flinched away from his touch. "Come on sweetheart," he sighed, "darlin look at me," he said tilting my chin up as I sniffled and struggled to rub the tears from my eyes. "Come on angel, settle down," he said softly, softer still when I sniffled and tugged on the sleeve of his shirt. I felt silly, stupid for crying in front of him and stupid for ever believing that he could ever want me in that way.

He was right, I was too young, I was naive, I didn't know what I was doing. Id never be like Meghan or Camille because I was too small and too scared. I didn't hold their allure. I didn't draw you in. I didn't tempt people. I just did the wrong thing at the wrong time and embarrassed myself.

"Izzy calm down alright, you're not in trouble yeah, you're not..."

"Yes I am," i sniffled rubbing my eyes furiously but Van just cracked a grin, chuckled a little as he leant forward and brushed a tear from my cheek.

"Who's decision is it if you're in trouble or not love..." he smirked and I bit my lip.

"Yours," i said softly, a shy smile creeping onto my lips, relieving him as a small smile crept onto his too.

"Right, and what did I just tell you?" he asked grinning wider when I bit back my smile.

"That I'm not in trouble," i said a blush shining through, making me want to shy away from him more, but when I shrunk back into my chair he stopped me. Leant forward and took my cheek in his hand, stroked his thumb over my skin.

"Don't hide from me Iz," he smirked taking my hand in his, drawing little circles around my palm, "Izzy darlin," he sighed, "I don't know what that girls been saying to you and I'm not going to make you tell me this time but you have to promise me you'll listen to me in future alright?" he asked, his eyes pooling soft and serious.

"Alright," I said quietly.

"Promise me Izzy," he said, leaning in almost closing the space between us.

I chewed my cheek, blushy and shying away, but he was watching me like he was waiting for something and I didn't want to make him wait again.

"Promise," i said and when he smiled I smiled and I settled a little as he stood up, opened his arms out for me to lean into his embrace. I was hesitant at first, hesitant to stand up and let him put his arms around me, but when I felt him guide me in to rest against his chest I felt all the fear and the upset melt away beneath his touch, closed my eyes and nuzzled into him. He had his hand in my hair, winding a curl around his finger and when he tilted his chin, placed a kiss in my hair I wondered what he was thinking about.

"Go upstairs now Izzy," he said kissing me again.

"Where are you going?" I asked looking up at him, not really wanting him to leave me again, not really wanting him to go and disappear again, but I knew I couldn't argue with him, I knew that he would.

"I've got to go speak to the lads darlin, we've got a lot of plans to make and..."

"Can I come with you?" I asked quickly, too quickly. I'd asked the question before I'd really thought it through and the moment the words had left my lips I felt stupid for it, i clasped my hand over my mouth. Winced. "Sorry," i said but he only chuckled, cracked a grin and stroked my cheek with his thumb.