The Unrequited (Dean x Male Reader)

Nothing, Maybe Something

"Hey, hey." Dean shook you awake and suddenly took notice of all of the light flooding into the room through the window. You groaned as you turned and closed the window around you. "Y/N, hey, get up now. We have to get ready," he said. 

"Curtains." You groaned.

Dean looked at you worriedly as he suddenly realized. "Y/N, are you okay?" he asked as he got up and pulled the curtains across the window. He got some water in a glass and fetched for some meds in his bag He got back to you and made you sit up. "Come on, drink this." He said as he gave you the glass of water. You took a sip and rested your head at the backrest of the bed. You still didn't open your eyes though.

"My head hurts," You mumbled with a whine which made Dean chuckle. You finally opened your eyes and squinted at him, "This is not funny." you said and now seeing Dean, wondered how he was alright while you were hungover.

"Here. Take this." He handed you a couple of tablets. "You'll feel better."

You took the tablets and gulped them down with some water. You sat there for a while and slowly drank some water. Dean got you some more water and a cup of coffee from downstairs.
"Dad was asking for you. Do you think you'll be okay to get ready for the road?" He asked but your focus was on the coffee. You didn't reply to him as he handed you the cup and you took a sip of the hot liquid, it wasn't too hot and just perfect. He sat down on your side of the bed with his cup and you two just sat there, and though you kept your eyes on your cup, he kept looking at you. You drank slowly as the bitterness finally started to hit you and you felt better.

"Y/N? You okay in there, son?" Both you and Dean got an awful start as John walked into the door after a single knock. He got in and smiled at first, seeing you and Dean sit like that. "Just woke up, huh?" He said and walked towards your side of the bed and patted Dean on his shoulder, his hand resting there.

"Yes, sir, I-" you started but lost your chain of thoughts and looked at Dean worriedly.
"We were just about to get ready," Dean said. "We'll be down in ten." He said and you hit him lightly with your leg, "Fifteen," he said again.

John seemed to have noticed it and chuckled, "Take twenty." He said to you. "You did good yesterday." He said with a smile before walking back out. Your eyes got back to Dean and noticed that his expressions were back to his usual steely self and his cold demeanour had taken over.
"Dean, it's not like-"

"Whatever," Dean said and was about to get up when you put your cup on the bedside table and grabbed his arm.

"Dean," you started and gulped, not having thought what you were going to say to him. "Whatever happened last night. I don't know, I was just confused."

"Did I ask?" Dean said curtly but you just sighed, you were getting used to his shields and defences.

"This... This act, it's not easy." You said, "And sometimes I feel like I'm not even acting." He looked at you this time and raised his brow. You sighed, "Can't we at least be friends?"

"Friends?" Dean repeated and you could hear in his voice that he had gotten offended. He looked at you for a couple of seconds and you saw his jaw twitch as he clenched his teeth. "Sounds like a great idea, why don't you run it by dad first, then?"

"Dean, please..." You said and you realized that your headache had gotten a bit better. "Just give me some time at least to-" you started but Dean cut you midsentence.

"Finish your coffee and get ready," Dean said, got up, and left.

Dean got back after sometime when you had gotten ready and had packed yours and Dean's bag. You noticed how Dean hadn't packed his even though he'd been ready before and wondered if he had deliberately left it for you to pack. You didn't mind doing it since it wasn't much anyway, he only carried a few changes of clothes. He didn't say a word but you walked downstairs hand in hand. You had breakfast with everyone and said your goodbyes after as you got out and in the car.

Contrary to what you have liked, most of the drive after wasn't silent. Though Dean didn't talk a lot per se, both Sam and John were particularly chatty today. You answered their questions and tried to engage with Sam as much as you could until your headache seemed to return and you just sat back and acted like you had fallen asleep.

Dean didn't mind as you just leaned on him. He moved as well this time so your head was on his chest as he sat a bit low and his arm was around you. The others talked only now and then after that and though you pretended to sleep mostly, you did actually fall asleep for some time in between.

You only opened your eyes when you felt that the car had stopped and Sam and John had gotten out. You sat up and stretched a bit before you noticed Dean was staring at you.

"What?" You asked.

"Nothing." Dean shrugged and looked outside.

You sighed, "Just say it." You said. "If you want to say something, just say it."

Dean looked back at you, "What do you think I am?" He asked and though a part of you was worried, you were mostly relieved to see that Dean had finally let his shields down. He was aggravated, annoyed, angry, and he wasn't hiding it as he did with his brother and father. "A robot? You don't think I have feelings, that I'm just this doormat you can step on and forget about?" Dean said and your relief was slowly fading as his voice got lower and lower. You were almost scared now, even.

"Well, it's not my fault your fucking ego is-"

"I'm not kidding, Y/N, I will not repeat myself. Mind that tongue." Dean threatened, "and lower your voice, Sammy's just right outsi-"

"I don't care who's outside!" You yelled now and only noticed that your eyes had teared up when you felt a teardrop run down your cheek. "Mind my tongue? While you say what you want?" You said and saw Dean look out of the window with concern all of a sudden. You traced his line of sight and saw that Sam really was just outside. He must've heard you because he was looking in your direction now. He only gave you an apologetic smile and quickly walked away, as if to give you some privacy.

Dean glared at you and huffed and you didn't say anything. You just sat back and looked out of the other window and as Sam's smile came to your mind again, the image of John's gun came back to your mind. What if Sam talked to John again of this? What if this was your last chance and John... You shrugged the thought away and chose not to think about it, especially if you didn't want to get sick. You focussed on something else and when John's words came to you and just couldn't do anything, you closed your eyes and guided yourself through JPMR, a technique you had learned long ago for your anxiety.

***

Dean grabbed you by your wrist and turned you back as soon as he got into the room after you and locked the door behind. He grabbed you by the hem of your shirt and pinned you to the wall.
"Dean, what are-"

"I'm not pulling my brother into this." He said and he was practically growling at this point, with his voice so hoarse. "You want to act and play games with people's feelings, I'm all yours. But I swear to God if my brother gets even a little idea of this, I will really make you regret everything you've done."

You gulped and turned your head to look away, his face close enough that you could smell the burger on his breath that he had had an hour ago. He held you there like that before he spoke again, "Look at me." He growled and you tried to ignore and closed your eyes.

"I said look at me, bitch!" He yelled at the top of his lungs which made you look at him. You were taken aback when you looked at him. His face was almost red, and you could tell he was holding back a lot of things, but what he couldn't successfully hold back were his tears. His eyes were brimmed with tears, threatening to fall in violent torrents down his face. He leaned in closer and kissed you. It was a long, deep, and wanting kiss and you could tell he desperately wanted to continue but pulled back after a few seconds.

You looked at him and tried to fathom what was happening on his countenance. He looked sad, hurt, disgusted, and angry at the same time. "Still nothing, huh?" He asked and you wondered if you should've kissed back and you probably would've, had you not been taken aback. But he was right, though you were a bit more comfortable with kissing him now, there still wasn't anything for you to feel for him. There just wasn't. And even if there was, it probably drowned in the tides of your fear for him right now.

He let go of you and you took a couple of steps back to regain your posture. Dean only just scoffed and left the room.