The Unrequited (Dean x Male Reader)

The Day Before

Having had to live with your dad for so long had greatly taught you patience. But one more thing you'd had to learn was the simple fact that there aren't really any shitty people, just shitty circumstances. You didn't know if it was true, but then again there isn't really anything like the absolute truth, but it helped you cope. You always saw your dad as a regular person caught up in unfortunate situations that controlled everything he did. He was a product of his times and at the mercy of the world around him, destined to play the part that was assigned to him. Alas, in Shakespeare's words, all the world's a stage, and the men and women, merely players.

The more you got to know Dean, the more you could think of him the same way. He wasn't the kindest, but he was never rude to you after your little car ride. He maintained a certain demeanour in front of John, but he couldn't be bothered about anything else but you when you two were alone. He made sure you were comfortable and had everything you needed. Even if John stopped at a diner, Dean made sure to ask you first if you were okay with it. The more you got to know him, the better things got for you. You didn't have to actively avoid John anymore, Dean never left you alone and maybe John saw it too. You could see a hint of satisfaction on his face every time he saw you and Dean talk or go out for a walk alone. 

"You okay?" Dean asked as you walked into the chapel you were supposed to get married in. He took your hand in his as he walked behind John who was talking to the local organizer. You'd known this place and you'd been here before. This was one of the few principal chapels that hunters used. Many preferred a simple wedding on the grounds of their family properties but families like the Winchester who hadn't any private property used these chapels. You'd been to a wedding here before when your dad had still been a little sober. 

You looked up and saw the plain grey ceiling lined with wooden beams. Few chandeliers hung from the ceiling but you couldn't figure out if they worked at all or if they were even needed in the first place. The upper ends of the walls were lined by glass windows that let enough light in. Every third window had coloured baroque glass that filtered the light and lit up the floor of the chapel in different colours. You stopped when Dean took your hand and looked at him.

"You want to sit down?" He asked, looking at you with worry in his eyes. You merely shook your head but found yourself unable to utter a single word. It was all so overwhelming, finally standing here where you'd lose everything. You felt so lost, astray and so painfully devastated. It was like standing on the shore during a high tide and realizations hit you one after another like violent waves destined to make you lose your fitting and waiting for you to fall, to engulf you in their depths. It didn't matter anymore if Dean was good to you or whether or not you truly liked Dean. You were still going to lose your name, identity, and freedom, not that you'd ever had any of those things before.

"Everything okay, son?" You were pulled out of your store of thoughts, for it was but a store and every thought came at the price of your peace of mind. "Not feeling good?" John spoke and rested an arm on your shoulder. "Why don't you go back to the motel, Dean and I can handle things here." He said and turned to Dean. Without another word, Dean nodded and led you out back to the car. 

"Still not ready, huh?" Dean asked as you got to where the car was parked and leaned against it, facing you, his arms crossed across his chest. You looked up at him and realized that he wasn't attacking or questioning you. He did truly seem genuinely worried as if he could feel every emotion that you were feeling at the moment.

"I guess not," You said. You sighed and put your hands on his arms, gently giving them a push so he uncrossed them and you hugged him. Dean didn't say anything but simply wrapped his arms around you and left a small kiss on your head. This was the real Dean Winchester with his soft and warm touch, worried looks, caring embraces, and loving kisses. Maybe, you thought every time you were alone and you got to witness this side of him, that you'd really fall in love with him someday and all of this would seem like nothing a few years down the road. "Do we really have to do it in front of other people?"

Dean laughed at that and you could feel his chest vibrate against you. "Honestly, I hate it just as much." It made you smile and snuggle a little closer so you could feel that warm tremble and the steady beating of his heart against your skin like an adventurer lost on an island seeking out the last hope for survival. "You want to get out of this town tonight?" He asked. "Just you and me, somewhere alone under the sky." He added a little awkwardly. 

You pulled back and grinned at him.

"What?" He asked, his face turning red, "Isn't that how they say it in those books you like so much?" 

You laughed at that, shaking your head, and felt yourself truly relax and calm down. You let your shoulders drop a little as you leaned over against him and rested your head on his chest. That was it.

"Come on," Dean said finally after a while and you pulled back again. You got in your seat after giving Dean a small kiss and he drove you back to the motel. "Just go to Sammy's room if you want," Dean said. "He'd probably be up." He told you and you nodded. Honestly, you'd first thought of just going to your room and taking a nap but you hadn't had time to talk to Sam at all lately and if you were to be honest, he seemed the only one in the family with an actual sense of things so you decided to talk to Sam for a little.

But when you got into Sam's room, you'd wished you had knocked. He was sitting on his table with his laptop and a few papers when he heard the door open and immediately shoved his papers into his bag and closed it. There was still a brochure on the table which, by the time Sam snatched it, you'd already seen what it was. "You're applying for college?"

"Don't tell dad," He said and it sounded more like a warning than a request. You looked up at him and raised your hands. "I'm sorry," He said immediately and put his bag down, looking at you apprehensively. The internal debate was all over his face, what to say or do even. 

"I won't," You said. "Does Dean know?" You asked and Sam shook his head.

"Don't tell him either," he said and you nodded. You wanted to ask him how he was doing it and what he planned to do if he got in. Would John even allow him? You doubted it and you wondered if his fights with John had been about something relating to this. You'd wanted to talk to him about it and there it was, you saw your escape. If he was trying to get away from all of this, he would understand what you'd been going through. He could help you and maybe even help you get away. But somehow, his defensive stance didn't change and you could tell that he still didn't trust you. You nodded again to let him know you were at least on his side before simply taking a step back. You saw Sam ease a little as you left the room and went into your own. Maybe, just maybe, if you're able to talk to Sam, you could really find your way out.