The Unrequited (Dean x Male Reader)

In Our Godawful Lives

As soon as you'd had dinner you got in the car and Dean drove for a spot that he said he knew about. You felt the cool wind against your face and the air smelt sweet almost as if the entire world around you had quieted down to help you relax, light evening mist covering the ends of the road. Even Dean seemed aware that you were disturbed. He didn't put on any music and you just drove into the night in silence with the windows all the way down. It was past nine already and though it generally looked dark, the sky was only dark blue. 

You hadn't asked Dean where he was taking you and though a part of your mind was occupied with your encounter with Sam earlier, you couldn't help but notice when Dean started humming after a while. He tapped his fingers on the steering and you turned to look at him. "You're happy," You said, your voice low, as if even the slightest dialogue would disturb the quiet of the night that Dean's humming almost seemed to be a  natural part of. 

He looked at you and smiled, "You bet," He said and turned back towards the road.

"Don't stop," You said and Dean raised a brow before he understood. His smile widened and he began humming again, murmuring a few couple of lyrics every now and then. You scooted a little closer towards Dean and neither of you talked for the rest of the drive, you just sat there listening to him and looking at the empty roads ahead of you illuminated by the headlights of the car as Dean took a couple of off-road routes. Soon enough, you got there. The forests lining the rough roads cleared out and you saw a huge patch of empty grassland. Without a word, you got out as Dean grabbed a blanket and a beer pack he had brought.

For a long while after setting everything up, you just laid there on the blanket. Dean had his arm around you and you had your head resting on it, your bodies next to each other and touching. You were looking up at the sky, working out the faint stars in the night sky and trying to figure out constellations you had learnt as a kid but you realized you couldn't really do it anymore. You had been absolutely obsessed with constellations when you were young and you could remember spending hours looking at the encyclopedias and on the internet about it. You could fathom the patterns very quickly but now, even though it was only a few years ago, it felt like a distant memory. Hell, you felt like an entirely different person now. Not as confident, free, or even strong. 

You sighed as the sky you once used to turn to for calm and awe suddenly felt too depressing to even look at. You looked to your left and could see that Dean's eyes were closed and his breaths were calm and even. For a moment, you had begun to think that he'd fallen asleep until he stirred lightly. 

"Dean?" You whispered softly. He didn't move or open his eyes but replied in a soft hum.

"Hm?"

You didn't really know what you'd wanted to say but you searched your mind for something, anything, to drive your thoughts away from everything that was going on in your life. 

"Do you do this a lot?" Dean opened his eyes and looked at you with a raised brow, "Coming out like this, I mean."

"Oh," He spoke. "Not really. Got out a couple of times with Sammy but not much. You?"

You shook your head, "Never."

"Hunter life," He said with a slight tinge of disdain in his voice.

"Do you not like it?" You asked carefully.

"Does anyone ever?" He said and took a short pause, "It's just handed to you. Like a duty," He said.

"Would you ever want to quit?" You asked. Dean didn't reply for a while. He pulled his arm from under your head and sat up. You sat up with him and he sighed heavily.