the accident

9:39 am

GUYS! I know! this chapter is over the limit of 2000 words (I try having around 1000-3000 words per chapter), but this one is very important to me, and I want it just to be one long chapter. this is probably the saddest chapter in the whole novel, and if you're sensitive to: suicidal thoughts, abuse, depression, and ptsd, please do not read this chapter (I'm going to write a quick summary at the bottom)

lots of love <3

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TRIGGER WARNING CHAPTER!!

september 4th 2017

After a torturous night of tossing and turning, I woke up the next morning. I have no idea why Miles wasn't in the bed with me. Realization finally hit like a ton of bricks. Even if it wouldn't be the first night without Miles, it still shocks me when I didn't see him laying in bed next to me.

The whole night, I felt cold. I missed his arm around me. I missed how most nights, we would have midnight chats after he would wake up from his nightmares. We would speak about the most bizarre situations, and we both end up falling asleep shortly after. I miss him.

After waking up, and putting on a fresh new pair of sweatpants, I head straight to the hospital. I have no interest in staying at home anyway, everything reminds me of him. I eat a quick breakfast, and then I head straight down to the hospital.

When I got there, I see his back. He's yelling at the nurse on behalf of his son. He abruptly turns around, and we make direct eye contact. I pretend as if I don't recognize him, and walk directly past him while putting my head down. I walk briskly towards the seating area.

"Hello," a familiar voice purrs in front of me. I look up and see a face that I would be happy to see if he was thirty years younger. "Is this seat taken?" He asks. I want to tell him to go to hell, but the voice inside me tells me to let him. Maybe he'll do good. For once...

"No," I say my voice is croaky. He sits down, and I start remembering the first day I've ever met him. "You can sit."

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Miles was out running some errands. I was cleaning up the apartment when there was a knock on the door. I turned off the vacuum and slowly walked towards the door. It was a rare occurrence for anybody to be at the door. Especially since nobody was invited.

I went to answer the door, and this big guy was at the door. He had a strong jaw and brown hair. His wrinkles contoured his face, but he still had sharp features. His teeth were yellow from smoking. His hands were in fists. He was wearing a brown jacket with a white dress shirt. For some reason, I knew he was bad. Something told me that this guy was an atrocious man.

"Hello, I'm looking for Miles Ericsson." He said so calmly his Australian accent was way thicker than Miles'. The fact that he called Miles by his real name shocked me, and I knew exactly who it was.

"He's not here at the moment." I stammered keeping my hand firmly on the door handle and keeping my distance. "Can I take a message?" I appealed trying to keep my voice steady, but I knew my voice shook.

"No," He shook his head. "Tell him that his father, Halter, stopped by."

I felt myself stop breathing for a second. My heart pounded so hard, I'm surprised he didn't hear it. How did Miles' dad find our apartment? How did he know that Miles moved and lived here? So many questions filled my head that I didn't even realize how long I was just staring at Miles's dad.