[ gamer imagines ]

comfort ~ [ kryozgaming ]

[ trigger warning: anxiety attack ]

i run my fingers through my hair as i feel the tears flowing out of my eyes. i try to focus on my breathing, not wanting to think about the information i read on my phone, which was across the room. my body just went through a wave of fear, i didn't know what to do. clearly, being on my own with my thoughts wasn't going to help the situation. i needed someone to be with me, i needed john.

although, the problem was that john was currently in his office, streaming on twitch. i didn't want to disturb him, stopping him from entertaining his fans. i already felt bad just thinking about it. "i-i.. just need to b-breathe," i mutter out to myself.

i'd be lying if i said that talking made me sob. saying a sentence just made it worse, i felt cold. i needed the warmth to bring me back to the present, i couldn't take it anymore. after a few sobs, i decided to stand up and walk to my boyfriend's office. my heart raced, scared that he'll get upset for me disturbing him. i just needed to hear his voice.

i stopped in front of his door, my shaky fist about to make noise. "i should just turn around ", i thought to myself. i cut myself off by finally knocking on the wooden door. "hold on, i think y/n's knocking." my heart runs quicker, every step i hear john take is making me feel more nervous. i feel so bad; as soon as i see the knob turn, i cover my face as more tears flow out. the door opens, "hey, everything okay?" i feel him step closer to me after closing the door.

my head shakes, hands still hiding my identity. "baby, what's wrong?" john wraps his arms around my delicate body, softly placing his head on top of mine. "john?" i sob, making the male's heart break. "nonono, hey it's okay, i'm here now." he backs up a bit, just enough to look at me, "let me end my stream and we can go lie down, okay?"

"are you sure?" i hear him open his office door, "yeah, don't worry about it!" he walks off and sits in his chair, explaining to his chat why he has to leave so suddenly. after about 2 minutes later, john walks out of his office. 

he grabs my hand without another word and takes me to the couch. he sits us down, the both of us facing each other as our legs are somewhat tangled up. he holds both of my hands and begins to speak. "now, i know you well enough to know that you've been crying for a while before knocking on that door. i want you to know that i'm okay with you wanting help while i'm busy. i want you to know that you're more important than streaming or anything i might be doing during another one of these situations. never hesitate to tell me, okay?" i nod and smile as a tear leaps out of my eye. john wipes it off my cheek with his thumb before reuniting our hands. 

"i also know you well enough to know that you aren't ready to talk about it immediately so whenever you can, i'm here. i'll always be here. so instead of talking about it, we're gonna cuddle." he then lays us down, my head on his chest as our arms are around one another. i feel him lay a kiss on my head as i sigh, realizing how lucky i am to have him. "i love you, never forget that," he says, rubbing his hand on my back. "i love you too."