[ gamer imagines ]

sometimes in winter ~ [ jawsh ]

[ don't question the title; it's the name of a song that was playing while i was writing near the end. i felt like it fit since the weather in this imagine was cold. ]

i turn to direction of the kitchen doorway and that's when i saw it. that's when the tears started to flow from my eyes. not only do i see a girl writing her number on josh's hand, but i see him smiling. he doesn't take his eyes off of her. even though i watched for about 5 seconds, i couldn't bear to stay any longer.

i rush outside to the front of the house the party was at. i sat down on the cold, concrete steps. it was freezing outside, and the only thing that kept me warm were the hot tears flowing down my cheeks. i hear a few steps behind me, then a body sitting next to mine; it was carson.

"i saw what you were looking at. i'm so sorry you saw that." i look to my feet, my boots staying place as i rub my hands against my knees. i shrug my shoulders, "it's okay." my voice breaks and i shut my eyes, feeling more tears trying to come out.

"come here." carson says as he scoots closer to me, wrapping arm over me. he rubs my arm as i try to explain what's going on in my thoughts. "i j-just don't understand-", i stutter before carson cuts me off, "ik, i don't either. i thought he felt the same towards you." i whimper as a waterfall splashes out of my eyes. carson kisses my temple as he quietly reminds me that he's here for me and that it's okay. "i just really liked him."

"i know you did." the good news was: carson was the only one who knew about my crush on josh, so it was great that i got to talk to someone about my feelings. the bad news was: i didn't like he got to see me like this; heartbroken. i feel bad that he's seeing me break down about someone we both truly care about. carson was like a brother to me, he was the absolute best. we talked about everything together and we always understood each other when no one else really did. our bond was something special, so i know that him seeing me like this makes his heart shatter as well.

after a moment of silence, and the music faintly playing in the house, we hear footsteps stop behind us. then we hear a voice, his voice. "y/n/n can i talk to you?"  we turn to see josh looking down at me, eyes seeming glossy. i look to carson, him looking back at me. he gives me a look, then i nod. "are you sure?" he asks quietly. i nod again, watching him leave after he takes my hand, squeezing it, then whispering a "good luck".

josh sits where carson once was and looks at me, not earning a look back from me. i didn't want to see him. "y/n i heard everything." my eyes widen. i slowly turn to josh and see his eyes, which were drowning in the tears that doesn't seem to come out. "i am so sorry. i didn't know you felt this way about me." he says as he turns his body more towards me and taking my hands in his. a few tears come out of us, as if they were waiting to leave on cue together. "why did you do that?" 

"because i thought you didn't like me back and so i thought i should just try to move on. that girl started talking to me and i thought it as the opportunity and so i took it. but after she wrote her number on my hand, i knew it was wrong. i started to think, 'you know, what if she really does like me?'. and even after thinking that, even if you didn't, i still wouldn't be able to move on from you. i'd still love you, y/n/n." he pauses. "so when she walked away to get another drink, i went to the bathroom to wash it off. i couldn't bear to be with another person that wasn't you."

my voice cracks, "you love me?"

he nods, hands shaking as he lets go of mine. "y/n-" i cut him off with a hug. he sits there but doesn't hesitate to wrap his arms around me once he realizes what's happening. "i love you too josh." i whisper. he backs up to look at me. he gently grabs my chin and leans forward. he presses his lips against mine and i smile into the kiss. 

"FINALLY!!" carson yells behind us. we pull away and laugh. "what do you want, carson?" josh asks, seeming a bit annoyed. "well i just came out here to see if everything was alright, and from what i saw, you guys are fine." carson laughs loudly as i blush. 

josh picks up an empty can that was sitting by him and throws it at carson, "GET OUT OF HERE!!" carson wheezes, "OKAY OKAY OKAY!" he walks back inside the house, still laughing. "so where were we?" josh asks, turning back to me. i laugh and let my head fall on his shoulder. i take his hands and i feel josh's head turn to me, "what are you doing?" 

"i'm cold." without saying a word, josh puts me on his lap and wraps his arms around me tightly, making me a bit warmer. "better?"

i nod. "better."

-

scoot has something to say:

hey so i kinda changed my name since i started to feel a bit monkaS with my name out here. so if anyone here is new and shit, no my name isn't actually scoot.

also, please be patient with me; requests are still being written and i know i've been saying that for while but i haven't had the motivation to write. it literally took me about a week to write this one.

anyways, i love you guys and i really do appreciate the support everyone has been giving me. <3