Free the real feels (Completed)

Chapter 19

Naimulat ko ang mata ko nang may maramdamang dumampi sa labi ko. I shifted my eyes from the sudden light.

Agad akong napaupo nang bumungad sa akin ang bagong ligong Sawyer, what happened?

Bakit ako ang ginising? Ang alam ko ako ang siya ang may sakit?

My expression was still etched with confusion while looking at Sawyer na nakaupo sa harap ko, he's supressing a smile. I closed my eyes tightly saka tumayo at dumeretso sa banyo. Naghilamos ako at nagtoothbrush bago siya muling harapin.

Sinipat ko ang kabuuhan niya, "Magaling ka na ba?" nagaalangang tanong ko.

He licked his lips and nodded. "I was just  tired, I'm good."

Saglit ko pa siyang tinitigan. Well, it's good to know.

Ipinilig ko ang ulo ko at tinignan ang orasan, 11pm? Mabilis akong humarap sa kanya, "What time did you wake-up?"

"Around 8 am," Tumayo siya at ibinulsa ang dalawang kamay. "Let's eat, you didn't eat breakfast."

Wala sa sariling sumunod na lamang ako sa kanya.

Ako na ang naunang kumuha sa serving spoon para lagyan ang plato niya, he was always the one to do this for me. I've always wanted to do it too, lagi niya lang ako nauunahan. Except this past few weeks, I skipped o kaya naman kaunti lang at umaalis na agad ako.

Ramdam ko ang paninitig niya habang sinasalinan ko siya ng pagkain, I didn't try to glance at him. This is already making me shy.

Maya-maya nang magsimula na kami sa pagkain ay narinig ko ang pagtikhim niya kaya taka akong tumingin sa kanya.

"Do you want to go somewhere?" His eyes are on the food.

Saglit akong nag-isip, wala akong pasok ngayon dahil sa sembreak namin. I was trying to think of places when I remember his work. "How about your work?"

Diba isang linggo ka nang wala roon?

"What about that?" He get the glass of water and drink it. His eyes then bored at me, waiting for an answer.

Umiling ako.

Does he have to ask that? Syempre ay magtatanong ako tungkol doon dahil gusto ko malaman ang lagay. Ibinaba ko ang kutsarang dapat isusubo ko nang hinarap ko muli siya, Bakit nandito ka lang sa bahay ng ilang araw?

I tilted my head and decided not to ask that, "Mommy called..."

Tumaas ang kilay niya bago nagpatango-tango tila alam na kung bakit tumawag. I was expecting him to ask but he didn't, I sighed.

"Can we go to Kuya Nathan?" nahihiyang tanong ko, I feel like this is the first time I really ask something from him.

Wala naman din kasi akong mahihiling na gawin niya, he magically know everything I need and I want. Sana ako rin kaya ko, ni hindi ko nga siya magawang— I mentally shook my head because of the thoughts starting to occupy my mind again.

"Alright," He answered. "How long is your break?"

Pinigil ko ang magulat sa tanong niya. I don't remember telling him about our break, alam kong kabisado niya ang schedule ko but this...

I cleared my throat, "Dalawang linggo."

--

Nagpaalam sa akin si Sawyer na may dadaanan muna siya sa kompanya kaya nauna niya na akong hinatid sa mansyon. I breathe in the air, how long since I went here? Saglit pa lang naman but the nostalgic feeling of my youth spent most inside this house bukod kila Chain ay iba ang dating sa akin. It's weird, my parents are not here.

I was greeted by our helpers that I gladly gave back the smile, I missed them too. Madalas ko kaya silang kasama. Nagtanong ako sa kanila kung nasaan si Kuya Nathan, they told me na umakyat lang ng kwarto saglit.

I made my way towards our sala, nakaiwang bukas ang laptop ni Kuya Nathan. Is he busy? Kamusta kaya sila ni ate Mia ngayon? Last time I talked to them they are still doing good. I think that was months ago.

Lumapit ako roon nang tumunog, my eyes were suddenly filled with joy nang makitang ang magulang ko ang tumatawag. I answered it with a smile pero mabilis ding naglaho nang makita kung nasaan sila.

"Reese..." alanganing tawag ni Mama.

"W-why is dad laying on the bed?" Hindi ko mapigilan manginig ang labi ko.

Seeing Dad this way is painful, hindi ko pa siya nakikitang maging mahina sa harap ko. And I can't accept what I'm seeing right now.

Muli kong kinurap-kurap ang mata ko baka sakaling namamalikmata lang ako, but no... totoo ang ilang linyang nakakapit kay papa.

"Reese. You're there," mahinahong saad ni papa. He still looks normal pero halata ang nabawas na timbang sa kanya.

I closed my eyes and slowly nodded. Hindi ako makapagsalita, I feel like any moment from now...I'll break down.

Narinig ko na ang hikbi ni Mama, "I'm sorry anak. It's not our intention to hide it—"

"Reese!" Natigil ang sinasabi ni mama sa pagdating ni kuya.

I look up to him and his expression is full of guilt. I bit my lip, I can't cry... I don't want to cry. Bakit alam nila? I never wanted anyone to be forced kung may hindi sila kaya sabihin but this is different, it's my right to know about my father.

"Anak, I'm okay." Dad said. "I'm still strong kaya hindi ko na sinabi sa iyo," bahagya pa itong tumawa pero hindi nagbago ang ekspresyon ko.

"W-why?" Nauutal na saad ko. I won't cry.

Saglit na katahimikan ang bumalot sa amin. Later on they sighed and explained to me my papa's condition, he's been suffering from liver cancer since last year. I don't have any idea about it, wala akong nakitang kahit anong kakaiba. Why do I need to be like this? And the real reason why they left is for papa's treatment.

Pilit kong pinipigil ang maiyak nang sinasabi sa akin iyon, I breathed slowly to keep me from breaking down. "Bakit hindi niyo na lang ako isinama?" nahihirapang tanong ko.

"Don't hate your husband about not telling you about it. I know he can take care of you so well kapag wala kami sa tabi mo. We didn't choose him for you kung hindi ka niya kayang alagaan at—

"W-what?" Mas lalo akong naguluhan. My husband knew so well about this? And their only daughter have been unaware all this time?

Take care of me? They made me married Sawyer because they know he'll be responsible for me? Of course he is! Kaya nga sa buong pagsasama namin ay palagi kong nararamdaman na nagkukulang ako sa kanya, even though we were just arranged for it. Hindi ko naman gustong ipagkait sa kanya ang pagiging asawa! But hearing them say it is unacceptable, parang ibinigay nila ako sa kanya para lang may mag-alaga sa akin! Didn't they thought of Sawyer's side? Paano naman siya? He didn't deserve an oblivion girl!

Mas tatanggapin ko tungkol sa business ito, it benefits both sides... but this isn't the case.

Mabilis akong tumayo at tinakbo ang pintuan, hindi ko na kaya pa kung ano pang maririnig. I heard Kuya Nathan called me pero hindi ko na nilingon ito, natigilan lang ako ng makita mismo ang asawa sa harapan ko.

My tears are just pooling in my eyes, I'm still have the strength na hindi ako bumigay kanina but seeing Sawyer with concern laced in his face weakened me. Hindi ko maiwasan isipin ang sinabi ng mga magulang ko.

He quickly grab me for a hug, the only reason to let myself breakdown, once again in his embrace.