Free the real feels (Completed)

Chapter 25

"Thank you, Dad and Mommy. Hindi naman po kailangan ng ganito," nahihiyang sambit ko ng abutan nila ako ng regalo.

We just arrived here at sinalubong ako agad ng yakap ni Mommy. Pagkatapos ko kasi iayos ang mga gamit ko ilang saglit ay inaya na rin ako ni Sawyer umalis dahil dumaan pa kami sa kompanya bago dumiretso rito.

"Of course, yes! You graduated, you deserve a gift," Ngumiti ito sa akin. I smiled too, they just told me they miss me but they never ask about anything bukod sa pangangamusta.

I slightly feel guilty for not telling them though, all they show me is gladness, na gustong gusto nila ako. I am really blessed to have in-laws like them but I wasn't able to do the same with them.

"Let's eat then," My father in law announced.

Gumiya naman kami, it's just an intimate dinner. Kami lang apat ang narito since my husband doesn't have siblings, my parents are away and my brother is with his own family.

I was already calculating what to answer in my head if ever they opened a topic about me studying away but they didn't. Hindi ko alam kung magpapasalamat ba ako o mahihiya lang lalo. Sometimes, I can't even answer the question too.

Bakit nga ba ako umalis?

Because I was insecure? Because I can't go after my parents so I just find another place to sulk? O gusto ko lang huminga sa lugar na walang bakas ng...

"So when will you plan to have babies?" tanong ni Mommy. I immediately coughed, inabutan ako ni Sawyer ng tubig. "I want grandkids already even though I'm far from looking a lola!" She added while giggling.

Dad chuckled too. "I want grandkids too," paguulit nito. He's emphasizing the plural form of the word.

Hindi ako makatingin sa kanila. Ngayon lang sila nagbukas ng usapan na ganito, noon hindi naman. Not that I'm not considering the idea— I mean okay lang naman—Yes, No...Ang ibig ko sabihin syempre oo— hays, basta.

"Don't pressure us. We'll get there," sagot ng katabi ko. I can feel his gaze at me, hindi ko sinubukan linungin iyon dahil ramdam ko na rin ang pag-init ng pisngi ko.

Nakita ko ang pagtango ni Dad, "But how many do you want, Reese?" He curiously asked. Iniangat ko ang ulo ko, all their eyes are directed on me.

"Uh," I unconsciously looked up to Sawyer. His brows shot up and amusement suddenly filled his face. Itinikom ko ang bibig ko at maliit na kinagat ang ibabang labi, "U-up to you..." I said almost a whisper with my eyes already wandering from his hair, ear and jaw avoiding his stare.

Naiwas ko ang ulo ko sa kanya ng tumawa ang mga magulang niya.

"Then we want grandkids, son." Dad chuckled.

"I wasn't able to produce our genes more so kayo na ang magpatuloy," Mommy seconded while giggling at us. She mentioned to me before na nagkaroon ng problema sa matres niya noon but they were thankful that they were given a chance to have Sawyer.

My husband smirked at nailing na lamang sa mga magulang niya. I let out a small smile too, their happy expressions were too genuine to break.

--

"Why not?" nagtatakang tanong ni Sawyer. We were talking about my internship at sinabi kong hindi pwedeng sa kompanya niya. "To yours then?" He asked pertaining to my family's company now being handled by my brother.

Umiling ako, "Kilala rin ako roon," sagot ko. I quickly tap my phone in continuous manner, hays... Mababaril ko na sana iyong kalaban, hindi ko napansin 'yung kakampi sa gilid.

My family introduced us to our employees when I was in highschool at   paminsan-minsang pinapapunta ako roon nila mama at papa kaya pamilyar ako sa kanila while in Sawyer's—obviously. I stop attending any business gatherings since I reach second year highschool kaya sigurado akong hindi naman ako kilala.

Nakarinig ako ng buntong-hininga.

Lininga ko siya saglit na nakatutok ang tingin sa desktop. He didn't go to the company, kaya naman dito siya sa bahay nagtatrabaho. We are currently in his office here habang seryoso siya, naglalaro ako ng cellphone. I'm sitted at the chair in front of his table.

Naipatay ko naman ang cellphone ko bigla, his brows are furrowed. Wala naman kasi akong magawang iba, he asked me to come here. Well, I can watch him while he's working but I won't do that kaya naglaro na lang ako nang magtanong siya.

Tumikhim ako at umayos ng upo.

Nalipat naman ang mga mata niya sa akin. "Did you already found one?"

"I already searched a company... I'll apply tomorrow," sagot ko.

His brows lifted and rest his back on his swiwel chair, hinawak niya pa ang kanyang kamay sa bibig. "Whose?"

May-ari? How would I know that?

Nagkibit-balikat ako. "Sedas Ad Co.," sagot ko na lang.

Saglit niya akong pinagkatitigan bago tumango-tango. "What time are we going then?" he asked with eyes already on the monitor.

Napatikom ako ng labi, I left my car to Chase— I mean 'yung ginagamit ko roon na sa kanya rin naman pala galing. In short, my cousin just did the favor of my husband not mine. But Manong is still here, he can drive or I can drive my own. He doesn't need to tire himself for sending me.

"I..." I cleared my throat. "I can go alone," sabi ko nakatingin na muli sa cellphone. I am fakely browsing my phone.

Ilang minuto ang nakalipas wala akong narinig na sagot, I lifted my head to glance at him. Bahagya akong kinabahan nang makitang walang emosyon ang kanyang mukha ngunit kita ko ang paggalaw ng panga niya.

I opened my mouth then close again. What should I say? Should I ask? Pero ano namang itatanong ko...

Pumikit ako saglit. I mustered all the courageness to ask but I remain being silent.

"What time?" His toneless voice made me felt indifference. Ngayon niya lang ulit ako ginamitan nang ganitong tono, it's making me uneasy.

Kahit pa nagtatanong siya ay parang hindi naman na siya interesado.

Huminga ako ng malalim, "Anong... oras ka ba pwede kung," tumigil ako. I'm struggling with the right word to use. Hindi ko alam kung bakit.

He lazily looked at me, "You're right. You can go alone." He sums up in a flat tone. 

Hindi na ako nakapagsalita. I can't deny that this is somehow hurting me. Mababaw siguro pero wala naman akong magagawa.
I just don't want him to feel so obliged at me.

Tumango na lamang ako ng marahan. He then stood up and told me to sleep. Akala ko ay sabay na uli kaming matutulog but I went to our bedroom alone hanggang sa matapos akong maglinis ng katawan at matulog ng mag-isa.

He's mad...