"how was work?" robert asks emotionless, cutting his food at the end of the dinner table
millie fiddles with her finger nervously, "g-good. yeah it was good." she says
"really? are you hanging out with finn again?" he asks, dropping his fork onto his plate
"w-what!? no! we just- practice lines. for mileven." she defends herself quickly
"just practicing lines? so walking together to the parking lot is practicing lines?" he pushes
"no! we were just discussing stuff. dad, it's fine." she breathes heavily
"it's not fine. your career is on the line!" he scolds
"what line, dad!? if having a career comes with so much pain, i don't fucking want it!" she finally yells back, standing up and slamming her hands on the table
he stands up, fuming, "did you just yell at me?"
"no." she grows quiet, "i'm sorry."
"you don't want your career!? we risked everything for you! we moved across the world for you! you never appreciate anything!" he scolds right in her face as she tries to hold back her tears
"you're right. i don't appreciate anything. i... i really don't. especially not life." she whispers, admitting defeat
"millie, honey." kelly finally speaks up out of concern
"no, don't. dad's right, i don't appreciate anything. you guys risked everything for me." she walks out of the kitchen and then up to her room
she grabs a cigarette, lighting it and walks over to her window still, sitting on the edge.
"fight it millie." she whispers to herself using 2 fingers and putting it around her wrist to measure it
there was still a lot of empty space, in other words, not healthy.
"i'm so fucking fat." she sobs, rolling her sleeves up
staring at her wrists, a small tear drops onto her arm. it was so white and plain. it was like it needed a bit of spice to it.
she shut her eyes tiredly, more tears streaming down her face. "don't do it."
over the years, wanting to self harm was also something she dealt with. sometimes the pain in your head is so much you just want to channel it somewhere else.
she inhales the cigarette and exhales the smoke onto her wrist.
"if only smoke could burn." she whispers
then, something went through her.
ashes.
she puts the cigarette above her wrist and slowly shakes the ashes onto her skin.
"stupid. this won't work." she leans her head back at the wall and slowly the cigarette slips out of her fingers and drops to the floor
eventually, her mind shuts off and she drifts off to deep slumber.
—
on the other side of atlanta, finn was hanging out with caleb.
"alright, you gotta quit being miserable. sadie talked to me and apparently millie talked to her about you guys stupid shit." caleb says
finns eyes widen, "really!? about what!? is she mad!?"
"calm down. sadie wouldn't say much but just that she's deeply hurt and can't trust you. you gotta show mills she can trust you." caleb tells him
