laying on the floor is..... uncomfortable but considering millie was intoxicated, she really didn't care.
she was drunk, really drunk.
so drunk she could barely move, yet she still went in for more.
something about the fact that everything was spinning, everything was a blur, it made her feel something different.
it's like for once you're in your own little world. you don't feel this weight of sadness or the need to leave everyone behind. for once she felt.... normal.
she wasn't the celebrity that was smiles and tells everyone to love themselves right now. she was herself who just wanted a simple escape.
right next to the empty bottles of liquor, there lays 4 half empty bottles of pills.
medications...
the lingering thought of just shoving the hundreds and hundreds of pills down her throat was still there. it was really tempting. god, it was so tempting.
people say suicide is selfish, but she thought different.
it's only selfish when you leave someone you love behind. it's only selfish when you leave someone that loves you behind.
and it's only selfish when you leave someone that cares about you behind.
in her case, no one loved her. she loved no one. no one cared. and no one would.
if she died, no one would care enough to visit her grave. after her death, she would be forgotten, left in the ground next to some other dead people with some disgusting gravestone over her coffin.
she wanted to be forgotten though.
so even though no one would care to visit her, she wouldn't mind that.
snapping her out of her thoughts, a knock on her bedroom door echos through the room and then the door creaks open.
"millie? where'd you get all that alcohol?" kelly asks, shutting the door quietly since it was quite late
"n-not telling you." millie slurs, shuffling against the floor
"under your bed?" kelly asks, walking towards her and sitting down on the floor next to her
"ugh." millie groans, "just let me hide something from you for o-once."
"fine. i'll pretend i just don't know my daughter well." kelly says, taking the alcohol from her hands and setting it on the floor
"you actually don't." millie grumbles, "what's one thing you know about me that no one does?"
"you care about others more then you do for yourself." kelly quickly says
"everyone knows that. name another." millie lays her head on her mother's lap
kelly smiles softly and strokes her hair, "you like to tell everyone you're fine. you bury your feelings deep down."
"but i am fine. i'm numb, i don't have feelings anymore." millie whispers
"you're not fine, millie. we both know that. i'm worried about you, extremely worried. you don't eat, you don't sleep and you most certainly don't look okay." kelly says
"i sleep..... and eat. why else am i still alive?" millie asks in a whisper
"finn." kelly states, "i can tell you're fighting for him."
"i'm trying... really, i am. but what if he leaves me for real after he finds out?" millie looks up at her
"if he loves you, he would never leave you." kelly tells her softly
