by the time i reach my front door, i'm completely soaked with rain water, my dress is soaked and my hair is too. it looks like i had just jumped into a body of water and gotten right out.
as i ran home, the light sprinkle that fell in the air while hyunjin and i talked quickly turned into a hard pour.
i didn't even care as i ran, even as my dress got heavier and heavier as it soaked up more water.
i stand and stare at the closed entry way for a few minutes before my hand reaches out and i open the door for myself. "hello?" my mom calls out to me when the door creaks open and then closes.
i take my muddy shoes off and leave them in the front part of the house before i walk to the living room where my parents are. the two of them lay together on the couch watching some old movie that plays on the television screen.
"illi? why are you here?" my dad asks and i shrug. "i thought you were supposed to stay at the kim's house with seungmin and the rest of the boys?" my mom continues and i shrug again. "the dance doesn't even end for another hour" my dad says to me and my feet start to take me upstairs.
"i know" i say to them before i disappear into the upstairs part of the large house. my dress leaves a wet trail as it drags on the floor. when i have the energy, i'll clean it up, i just cant right now.
i push open my door, benny lays on my bed sound asleep. my movement wakes him up and he stares at me, not moving a single muscle.
"hi" i say to the cat before i go into my bathroom. i grab the zipper to my dress and unzip it, letting the black fabric fall to floor. my body stands in its underwear as i look at my somber face. i wrap my arms around myself and feel the extra chubbiness that is my body.
i can feel the tears continue to come as i take my bra off and throw it onto the ground. i strip myself completely before i throw on a pair of new underwear and another one of the gigantic t-shirts i own.
i don't have the energy to put pants on, it is beyond me.
my legs take me over to my bed and i throw myself down onto the comfortable matter. benny walks over and curls up to me and i swear he knows how bad i feel.
