A Dead Girl

Chapter 50 Amy

Amy's POV

I've been having a really bad day.

First I forget to put my homework in my book bag before school and my teacher won't take late work and I worked really hard on that assignment. I spilt milk all over myself at school and had to walk around sticky for the rest of the day. I dropped my books in the hall and I tripped down the stairs to one of my classes in front of everyone. Luckily my body wasn't hurt but my mind was just in shambles at this point.

I finally got home after what seemed like a crappy day that dragged on forever. I took a shower to get the milk smell off of me and changed clothes. I sat on my bed and thought about the day. I laid face down on my bed and just sulked. Scarlett noticed and came over to talk to me.
"You uh...you doin ok?"

"No" I said through my covers

"Do you wanna talk about it?"

"No, I just had a bad day"

"Well ok, I'm here if you need anything"

"Thanks"

I sulked for a little while longer before getting up and looking for something to do. I walked out to see Jamie making dinner and Avery sitting at the island talking to him. I walked back into me and Scarlett's room and started scrolling through Instagram.

After scrolling for awhile I came across a video of me. It was a video of me tripping down the stairs and I looked absolutely ridiculous doing so.

Normally I'd just laugh it off but this was just the icing on the cake for me. It was the thing that set me over the edge. I've been doing pretty good and managing my self harm urges and doing things to distract myself but the day has worn every ounce of patience and calmness I have.

I think about how I'll get a knife with Avery being suspicious. I feel like Scarlett right now, or how I'd imagine she feels when she's about to do something like this.

What's a good excuse for getting a knife?
I've got it!
I walk out into the kitchen and casually grab a knife that looks sharp and start to walk away with it when Avery expectedly stops me.
"What do you need that for?" She asked already suspicious of me.
"I need a drawing reference for my art class" I said as calmly as I could.
"Can I see the assignment?"

"It's not on google classroom, my teacher told it to us in person"

"I don't believe you"

Seriously? This is gonna be harder than I thought.
"Really Avery? I've been clean for months, why would I jeopardize all that now?"

"Amy, your a really bad liar. You always have been and that's something that makes you really easy to talk to"

How the heck does she know I'm lying??

"I'm not lying" I said sternly

"Do you wanna know how I know your lying?"

"I'm not lying but sure"

"You can't look at me for more than a second without looking somewhere else"

I give up.
"Fine you caught me"

"Come sit" She said patting the bar stool next to her. I sit down and she gives me this worried face.
"What's going on?"

"It's nothing. I just had a bad day"

"Tell me about it"

"Just little things builds on throughout the day. Well...and one big thing" I mumbled that last part.

"What happened?" I looked up and she seemed even more worried than before.
"Would you relax it's not that serious"

"I just want to know what happened today that'd make you wanna relapse"

I sighed and looked down. "Well I tripped and fell down some stairs at school and it was in front of a whole bunch of people. One of which got it on camera somehow and posted to the school's Instagram"

"I'm sorry. Well the first step in getting these kinds of things taken down is reporting them-

"Avery no. We are not tell the principal or any administrator about this. My social life will die"

"But it's making you upset"

"Still"

"Fine, but I know you know cutting isn't the way to solve this"

"I know"

She gave me a hug and took the knife which I forgot I still had in my hand. Then we ate dinner relaxed and went to bed.
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The Next Day
After School

Well I have a new nickname at school now. Mop. I know it'll only last so long but I feel like crap about the whole situation. I sneak into the kitchen while Avery's in the bathroom and no ones looking and take a knife that was in the sink, wash it of and hide it in my pocket. When Avery leaves the bathroom I go in with a towel and turn on the shower so that don't wonder why I'm taking so long.

I start cutting and immediately feel relief from my problems. I feel good and I keep going. The problem with me is that when I cut once, I cut 100 times and then some. So I kept cutting until all I could see in the bath tub was red. I finally snapped out of whatever daze I was in and realized I cut not my legs up to my thighs and my arms.
"Fuck"

What am I gonna do?? I can't just walk out like this. If Avery doesn't see, Scarlett most certainly will. I'm such an idiot. I get out the shower after washing off all the blood.

I look at my clothes which consist of a short sleeved shirt and shorts. I dry off and put them on. I look at myself in the mirror seeing all the cuts all over me. Damnit Damnit Damnit. I sigh and accept my fate.

I open the door just enough to poke my head through the doorframe and call for Scarlett. I might still be able to get away with this.
"Yeah?" She said walking up to me.

"Please don't be mad ok I wasn't thinking and it just got out of hand"

"What did you do?" She asked cautiously

I slowly opened the door but stood behind it and she stepped in. I closed the door and looked at her and her eyes were really wide with worry and concern.
"What did you do??"

"People were making fun of me at school and I just reacted"

"I have to tell Avery"

"Please don't Scar, I'm begging you"

"If the roles were reversed and I was the one with fresh cuts everywhere you'd run and tell Avery"

"Come on Scarlett please"

She thought for a minute before giving me an answer "Fine, but you owe me"

"Thanks. Now can you get me a long sleeve shirt and some pants. And don't get caught coming back in here please"

"Yeah yeah, I'll be right back"

She came back with the clothes and went back to our room. The cuts weren't that deep and I don't scar with small cuts so all I need to do is keep Avery from seeing them while they heal. Yay.
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I almost didn't post this one but I decided since I wrote it I should just post it so here you go😂