A Dead Girl

Chapter 51 Boys

Amy's POV

I've been doing pretty good these past few weeks. Avery didn't find out about the cuts and they healed nicely so that's good.

I'm at school right now and the day is going by extra slow. My math teacher seems to be able to talk endlessly about whatever new formula he's teaching us. I notice this boy staring at me in class and just try to avoid eye contact. This kind of thing happens a lot so I'm pretty use to it. I asked to go to the bathroom and head out the class.

When I walk out the bathroom I see the same boy waiting for me in the hallway.
"Hi Amy"

"Hey Zack, what are you doing out here? Shouldn't you be back in class?"

"I came out to talk to you"

"About?"

He stepped closer to me so we were almost touching. I looked up at him confused and then he kisses me. All I can think is what the heck is going on???

He backs me up back into the girls bathroom and puts the trash can against the door. And continues kissing me. I stopped him and thought about what my sisters should say. I have a real problem so I haven't had any sex in about a year. I wanna stay in control of myself and keep living like I am. I know if I do this I might not be able to stop with him. I might keep going and self destruct again.

As I'm thinking all of this Zack starts to unbutton my shirt.

Fuck it.

We start kissing again and you can probably guess what happened next.
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After School

On my ride home from school I feel so guilty for going behind my sisters backs. I stared out the window trying to think of anything else but of course nothing else came to mind.

"You guys wanna stop and get some fro yo?" Avery asked

"Sure!" I said trying to sound like my normal cheery self.

"No, to many calories"

"Scarlett remember what your therapist said?"

"Yeah I know, It's ok to enjoy snacks from time to time"

"Come on Scar, just a little bit?" I said

"Fine but I'm getting the smallest size they have"

"Great then it's settled!"

We drive over to Frosties and get some frozen yogurt and pick a table to sit at. I can tell Scarlett is starting to loosen up a little and Avery seems to be doing alright.

Just be normal I tell myself as we continue to talk and eat. When we get home Scarlett passes out on the couch and Avery and I sit in the kitchen and talk.

I was really trying to avoid talking one on one with her because I'm a terrible liar. But all I did was delay the inevitable.
"So how was school today?"

"It's was good, everything was normal it was a normal day" Jeez why'd I say that? I minds well have said that everything was not normal today.
"How are you?"

You got this. "Good" I say looking away from her. I can't help but look away when I'm lying, I feel so bad.
"Amy I know your lying. Come on you know I'm not gonna judge you or anything"

Does she know what I did today??
"I'm really good Avery" I said glancing at her and the floor back and forth.

"So your not gonna tell me?"

"There's nothing to tell"

"I cant help if I don't know what's wrong"

"Nothings wrong" I say with a fake smile

"Then why can't you look at me?"

"I am looking at you" I say as I stare at her then glance away again.

She sighed and looked at me concerned. It'll be easier to just tell her. I know she's not gonna flip out, at least not with Scarlett here.
"Ok, but don't flip out, Scarlett's right there you know"

"I'm not, now what is it?"

I walk over to make sure Scarlett's asleep and she is. I walk back and stand on the other side of the island.
"I slept with a boy in my class today" I said quickly. You know it really does help to get it out.

"Seriously?? Amy why?"

"He came on to me. He started kissing me and I just couldn't say no ok?"

"Your a kid"

"I have more life experience than most adults"

"That's not the point. It's dangerous and your brain hasn't fully developed to be making those kinds of decisions"

"Neither has yours" I mumble under my breath

"I know it's hard, especially if he started it. But you have to say no"

"I know" I say timidly

"Did you use protection?"

I put my face in my arms before answering. "No" I said burying my face into my sleeves even more.

"Seriously Amy!?"

"You said you wouldn't flip out"

"That's before you said you didn't use protection. We have to go to the pharmacy and get plan b"

"Are you mad?" I said resting my knees on the floor so my head was just barely peeking over the counter.
"I'm not mad, I'm sorry if it seems like it. I'm just really disappointed"

"That's even worse"

"Come on, wake Scarlett up so we can go"

"I can go by myself, I don't want her to know"
If Scarlett found out about this she'd know about the cutting and this. She might think I'm having some sort of breakdown and tell Avery about the cutting.
"It's fine I'll just have Jamie get it"

"Ok"
She looked up at me after texting Jamie. She looks so worried, I hate that I'm the cause of that.
"Amy you know I care right?"

"Yeah"

"Then please tell me what's been going on. You've been doing well for awhile now, but you've been off these past few weeks"

What am I supposed to tell her? I don't even know why I've been so on edge lately. I'm usually so upbeat and cheery but these past few weeks I've been feeling more down. I'm not depressed about anything I don't think. What's wrong with me?
"I don't know"

She sighed and said "That's ok, just know that I'm here for you. And so is that knuckled head laying on the couch. We care okay?"

"Okay"

We hugged and I went off to do some homework.
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