A Dead Girl

Chapter 46 Saying Goodbye To Matt?

Scarlett POV

I'm on the floor right now. I just finished reading Matt's texts. I call his cell, no answer. I call again and again and again. No answer. I feel sick.
"Scar, it's gonna be ok" I hear Avery say

I feel tears stream down my face as I start to break. I've been broken so many times I've lost count of all the bad things that's happened to me.
I feel myself slowly crack open and then shatter.

Amy and Avery are looking at me right now, I know they wanna hug me but think that I'm gonna get mad or fight them and try and hurt myself.

I didn't even get to say goodbye. In the hospital I had thought about all the fun things we'd do once I got out. Now I'm broken again. The only thing that made me happy is gone now. I'm all alone. How could he leave me like this? No. How could I leave him? If I was there he'd still be here. I could've helped him through it.

My chest started to burn and Amy and Avery started hugging me. He's gone. He's really gone.

I stopped crying and I felt my whole body get weak. I wanna die. I wanna see Matt again.
"I'm broken again. I just finished rebuilding myself and now I'm broken again. This won't go away. It doesn't matter how much I cut or drink or binge. This won't go away"

"It'll be ok. You'll be ok, you always are somehow"

I went to bed early and stared at the wall until it was morning. Avery came in to tell us breakfast was ready. I have school today but I don't think I'm going. I can't get out the bed. Every time I move I start crying so I just stopped moving.

Avery came in to give me breakfast but I didn't move so she left it on my nightstand and said I didn't have to go to school for the rest of the week. I stayed in the same position all day and only got up to use the bathroom. Avery's been home with me all day but she hasn't said anything to me really which is relieving. I think she knows I wanna be alone.

I moved my leg a little in bed and started crying a lot. I really can't move without crying I guess. I decided to try and eat something and fought through the tears as I ate an apple. I only managed to eat half of it before my tears got overwhelming and I had to go back to my stationary state.
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Avery just came in my room to check on me. She asked if I needed anything and I said no. She told me to call her if I did. I'm surprised she's leaving me alone in here. I guess she really believes I won't try and hurt myself. She's right though. I don't have the energy or will power to do anything. I just wanna lay in my bed and cry and sleep.
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That Night

"Hey Scar how are you?" Amy asked me. I think it's obvious how I'm feeling right now.
"I'm sorry that was a dumb question"

She walked over and sat at the edge of my bed.
"I'm here for you. If you wanna talk, or you need a shoulder to cry on. Just know I'm here if you need any of those things"

"Ok" I said and closed my eyes hoping to fall asleep in the next few hours.
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1 Week Later

I have to go to school today. I got up and looked at myself in the mirror and saw how red and puffy my eyes were. I've barely slept this past week and I've been crying every night.

Avery drove me and Amy to school and told me that if I felt like I needed to come home then I could. I got out and saw Luna standing at the door. We walk in and she's talking to me about how much she's missed going to school with me and asked me how I was continuously.

I got to my locker and saw James walk up to me. He doesn't give up does he?
"Hey babe, you've been gone awhile. Why don't we do a little catching up?" He said with his unbearably smug smile.