I went to the police station today. Avery and Jamie helped me through it. I can't stop thinking about what happened now. I feel so sad and disgusting. I really wanna cut but, I know I shouldn't and can't. I don't want to have another relapse, but I also don't wanna worry anyone. It's not like I can do it even though I want to. There's like no sharp objects in the house. I just need to do this, I'll figure it out.
I got off my bed and went into the bathroom. I closed the door and opened the cabinets. The only things in there were toilet paper, sponges, and feminine products. No razors. No knives. No glass.
Glass! That's it! All I have to do is break a glass and get a piece of it.
I walk into the kitchen, Avery is sitting on a barstool on her phone, Jamie is watching TV and Amy is still in our room. I walk over to the cabinets and get a glass out. I purposely drop the glass and of course it shatters. I look at Avery who's already grabbed the broom and dust pan.
"It's ok, don't touch any of it"I step back and let her sweep it up and put it in the trash. She goes to the bathroom to wash her hands so this is my chance.
I get two glass shards out of the trash and put them in my pockets. Avery comes back out and I apologize again.
"It's fine Scar, are you ok?""Yeah I'm fine"
"Alright. Be more careful next time"
"Okay"
I walk back into my room and see Amy sitting on her bed reading a book.
How can I hide it if she's sitting right there? Ok I'll just put one shard under my pillow and the other I'll keep on me. I sit on my bed and put the piece of glass under my pillow.
I wanna cut now, like right now. I go back into the bathroom and close the door. There's no lock so I have to be quick. I take out the piece of glass still with me and roll up my sleeves.
"Finally" I whisper to myself as I start cutting. I cut one long streak up my arm. Red starts flowing out of it like a calm stream. I put the glass away and flush the toilet. I turn on the sink and rinse my arm. The water makes my cut sting. I love the stinging sensation I now feel going up my arm. I grab some toilet paper and wrap up my arm. I roll my sleeves back down and walk out the bathroom.
It felt so relieving to finally get all these thoughts out of my head.
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Avery's POV"Amy, Scarlett, dinners ready" I said opening the door of their room.
Amy was doing homework and Scarlett was on her phone.
"Ok, I'll be there in a minute" Amy said"I'm not hungry" Scarlett said
I'm worried about her. When we got back from the station she didn't say much. Then again who would? Going through all of that again. I feel so bad for having to put her through that.
"I know you don't feel like it but just eat a little something Scar""Do I have to?" She sighed
"I'd like you to"
"Fine"
They both got up and we headed to the kitchen. Tonight we were having franks and beans. Scarlett grabbed a spoonful of beans and sat down.
We started eating and talking, I had my attention focused on Scarlett though. Something's off, but I'm not sure what yet.
The entire time during dinner she was smiling and talking like she was happy but she was scratching the back of her neck the whole time. I don't think she realized she was doing it, she only does it when she stressed or upset. She did break that glass, is that is? Why would she still be upset about breaking a glass? Maybe I'm thinking to much into this.
YOU ARE READING
A Dead Girl
Aktuelle LiteraturScarlett is a 13 year old girl that struggles with depression, anxiety, and an eating disorder. She has an abusive mom and a dying dad. She is loosing hope. Will she push through and find light or fall deeper into the darkness?