A Dead Girl

Chapter 40 Numb

I still feel numb. I'm just not pretending to not feel that way anymore. The thing is, with any other emotion like sadness, or anger, its easier to pretend to be ok. But when your numb, the littlest things make you tired. Brushing your teeth, getting dressed, socializing. It's all incredibly tiring. So now that I'm not pretending anymore I'm just nothing. A vast void of nothingness stretching for miles.
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"Scar, Amy, wake up breakfasts ready"

"Ok" Amy said. I just stayed silent.

I dragged myself out of bed and got dressed. I brushed my teeth and washed my face and went into the kitchen. Sausages and Bacon. So greasy. I grabbed an apple and sat down with everyone.
"I can't pick you guys up today. I have to stay at work later so you'll have to walk home. It's only 20 mins so you'll be ok. Luna will walk with you guys so you'll be fine"

"Ok" Me and Amy said

I was staring at the bite mark I had made in the apple and focused on it. I looked at all the little indentions and lines in it. When I looked back up they were all staring at me. They always randomly do that, it doesn't even phase me anymore. In fact I can tell you exactly how this is gonna go. First Avery will ask "Are you ok Scar?" Then I say, "Yeah I'm fine" Then she says "Are you sure?" And I say, "Yeah" and then it ends with an "Ok". It's honestly boring at this point because she never gets anything out of me. Maybe I'll change it up next time. Make things a little more interesting.
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At school I said hi to Matt plainly. I remembered our night together and it made me smile. The smile felt foreign as it crossed my face. Like it wasn't even my smile. I ignored this feeling and told Matt how I was feeling.
"I'm sorry, is there anything I can do?"

"Just be you"

"Ok, I can do that" He said slightly excited.

The rest of the day went by slowly. In my math class someone threw a piece of paper at my head. I didn't even know that was still a thing people did. I ignored it and kept blankly staring at the board. I wonder what was written on it. Probably something mean or hurtful.
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It's the end of the day now and me Amy and Luna are walking home. I keep my head down analyzing the pavement as I walk on it. Does it want to be stepped on?

This is the problem with too much free thought. You start thinking about the most random irrelevant things.

We keep walking and I look up from the sidewalk for a second and coming up to us is the same girl that recognized me from the news. My heart froze for a second before realizing that whatever this bitch says to me, will be grounds for me to beat her ass.

We keep walking and eventually get up to her. She stops and looks at me and I look up at her.

Say something. I dare you. And of course she had to open her mouth.
"You again? I thought you'd be dead by now, or at least in the psych ward. Though I'd prefer you to be dead. It's people like you that piss me off. Attention seeking whores. Or as I like to call them attention whores"

I immediately jumped on top of her and beat the ever loving shit out of her. She managed to roll over and punched me a few times. Luna and Amy were trying to break us up but I got back on top of her and kept beating her until they eventually pulled me off.

"YOU CRAZY FUCKING BITCH!!!" She said as my fist reconnected with her face.

She ran away screaming about how she was gonna kill me and how she wish I'd died the first time.

I went back to my numb docile state and started walking again. Amy and Luna stood there dumbfounded as to what just happened.
"Scarlett??" Amy said