You and I - Eviana

Loss

They arrived at the doctors office shortly after. Mariana stared out the window the whole time thinking. Thinking about her unborn baby and hoping everything was okay. She was worried something was seriously wrong so she silently prayed. She didn't remember the last time she did this. She thought about if the baby would be a girl or a boy. Definitely a girl. She would be just like Mariana. Have her personality, confidence, and intelligence. She would have some of her features also, brown hair, caramel skin, and maybe even light eyes like Evan. What would her name be? Mariana thought about how her and Evan would need to talk about that together and come up with something sentimental and with meaning. The more she thought the more she loved her unborn child. She held her stomach and tried not to cry. She had to be strong for herself and for her baby.
"We're here. Are you feeling okay?" Callie asked looking over at Mariana. She noticed how broken she looked.
"I just need to see if the baby is okay" Mariana said stepping out of the car.

~

"Hmm. Let me call in the doctor" the nurse said giving Mariana a gentle smile as she walked out. Mariana felt like her heart sank. She knew what was coming before they even said a word. Callie held her hand.
The doctor tried looking for the baby and heartbeat on the ultrasound monitor. Silence grew in the room. Nothing. Not even the faint steady beat.
"I am so sorry to inform you that it seems there is no heartbeat. Miscarriages are very common especially during the first trimester. I'll give you a minute to get dressed and I will be back with more information" he said softly. Mariana felt as if she was in a bad dream. His words faded out into the background of her swirling thoughts. She layed her head back and let her tears fall.
Callie didn't know how to react, she wanted Mariana to know she was on her side. She leaned over the bed and gave her a hug.
"H-how am I gonna t-tell Evan?" She said barely able to get the words out.
"I can tell everyone if you want" Callie said trying to take the pressure off of her.
"It's all my-my fault" Mariana was broken and felt guilty her body couldn't even carry a baby correctly.
"No it's not. This happens Mariana, like the doctor said"
The rest of the appointment seemed like forever. Mariana barely listened to what the doctor had to say as. There was no exact cause they could determine just that sometimes these things do not work out.
They walked to the car quietly.
"I can't imagine how upset you must feel right now. I'll stop by the store right now and pick up the things you'll need. I'm so sorry" Callie said wrapping her in a hug. Mariana didn't say anything instead she just cried.
They got into the car after a few minutes.

E: can you video chat? I want to hear all about it now and I have some new baby informational books to show you.

Mariana turned off her phone and threw it on the floor of the car. She felt embarrassed and ashamed.
How could she tell Evan this? Or the others at the coterie?
"Okay, stay in here. I'll go get the stuff" Callie said getting out of the car at the pharmacy.
Mariana hadn't even realized they were driving and were already a few minutes from the coterie.
She stared out the window as she waited. A car pulled up next to her and a women got out. She held her daughter's hand who was playing with a doll in her other hand. Mariana imagined that being her in 5 years. What could have been. This made her sob. Alone in the car of a pharmacy parking lot. She felt hopeless.
Callie opened the door suddenly and handed Mariana the bag. She noticed she had been crying.
"We're going home now" she rubbed her arm and they arrived at the coterie soon after.
Mariana put her sunglasses on to mask her swollen red eyes.
"I can't talk to anyone about this.. I can't" Mariana said shakily.
"Don't worry about it. I'll tell them if you want?" Callie said again.
Mariana nodded. She quickly made her way through the main foyer and to their loft. Callie followed quietly behind.
"Is everything okay?" Davia asked. Everyone could feel the vibe shift in the room when they arrived. Callie sat down and looked at them with sad eyes.
"She lost the baby" she said in almost a whisper.
"Oh my God" Alice said and Davia opened her mouth shocked. A deep saddnes filled the room.
"She doesn't really wanna talk to anyone right now and she is really upset so" Callie rubbed her hands together.
Davia nodded,
"That must be so hard for her"
"Let her know we're all here for her in any way we can be" Gael added from the kitchen. Callie looked at him and then back down again,
"Yes, from all of us" Alice said.
"Of course. Thanks guys" Callie was distracted by a phone call, it was from Lena.
She walked to a quieter area to take it,
"Hi mama!"
"Hi honey, your sister wasn't answering her phone, we are about an hour away maybe even less if we can figure out which shortcuts to take" Lena tried to use her GPS while Stef drove.
"Oh okay... cool" Callie said hesitantly. She wondered if she should tell Lena about what happened today. Mariana was planning on announcing her pregnancy today to her moms, but now that she lost the baby she knew how much harder it would be. Might as well take some of that pressure off of her shoulders.
"Is everything okay honey?" Lena sounded worried and Callie grew nervous.
"Umm.. actually... no" she said slowly. She knew it was best to tell them.
"What's wrong"
"It's a long story but, Mariana was like 9 weeks pregnant and she was planning on telling you guys when you came down but.." she heard them both gasp,
"She was what?!" Lena said loudly. She could hear Stef in the background,
"Like I said it's a long story. Anyway, she just found out like 40 minutes ago that the baby didn't have a heartbeat. She had a miscarriage" Callie teared up saying the words. She couldn't believe this was happening to her sister.
"Oh my god. That is horrible. My poor baby" Lena was sad for her daughter.
"Thank you for telling us. I can't believe this. I'm glad we're going to be there with her" Stef said still in shock.
"Wait, whose baby was it? I know she was dating what was his name? Oh yes, Raj right?"
"Umm actually, it wasn't with Raj"
"Then who was it with?" Stef said slowly.
"With Evan. Her boss" Callie said holding in her breath. She wasn't sure what they would say or how they would react to their daughter getting pregnant by her boss.
"Hmh wow so she's dating her boss?" Stef said trying not to sound like she was judging.
"Yes"
"As long as he didn't take advantage of her or anything. He is in a position of power over her" Lena sounded worried.
"No, it wasn't like that. As far as I know, they're both really happy with each other and it sorta just happened"
"Okay, Cal, can you make sure she's okay? I know how hard that is" Lena said after a pause.
"Yes, please, we'll be there soon" Stef added.
"Of course" Callie said looking over at their loft door.