The Year of Maybe

Chapter Seven

The door creaks open once again as a slim old man waddles into the hospital room.

"Hello," he greets us in a scraggly tone, "I am Dr. Lorain." He looks down at his clipboard.

"You must be Quinn..." The doctor walks to my bedside and shakes my hand firmly. Dr. Lorain switches his attention to Ricky. "And you are?"

"Uh... I am T-... I'm Ricky. It's nice to meet you." That had to be a stutter... Didn't it?

"Alrighty, so I don't know if you call this good news or bad..." He scratches his chin and scribbles something on his clipboard. "It says here that there is no possibility of you carrying a child?"

My stomach sank. "Not with him, no..."

"Well... Uh. Quinn, you are pregnant."

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When I was a little kid I used to scrape up my knees and elbows pretty bad. Mom gained the nickname "Doctor Mommy". And she really earned it. I came home with up to twenty cuts or scrapes per month and sometimes I would injure myself on purpose just to spend time with my mom.

While dad was away at some roadside bar, mom was home with me. Eli had just left and mom started hounding me with things like, "he needs to be more like a gentleman" and "he needs to learn some respect for my daughter". Somehow, this ended up in a screaming match like our arguments always did and I stormed out. All of my stuff was left behind during the process of moving in with Eli. I had to start over. Completely. I wasn't really sure how to live on my own, but eventually I figured it out.

At a time like this, I could really use Doctor Mommy.

++++

Ricky turns to me with his lips in a fine line. His cheeks show a light shade of pink. "So..."

"Ricky... I don't know what to say... I could start with an apology." I push the heels of my hands into my eyes and start shaking my head. "I am so sorry."

Silence fills the empty space around my hospital bed as hot tears slip from my eyes. My breathing shortens and my nose stars to run. Great.

A hand starts rubbing small circles on my back. "Shh. Quinn, I am as shocked as you are. This is all going to turn out fine. I can be some sort of father... I guess. I'll leave if you want me to..." I hear Ricky's chair scoot back to the side of me and he adjusts his jacket. He starts towards the door and I sit up searching for his hand. He turns and faces me. I pull off the sheets from that cover my body and stand close to Ricky with his hand in mine. He drops my hand and wraps his arms around my bony body. The warmth of his arms radiates off of him and heats my naked back. I feel my cheeks begin to heat up as my heart begins to race. I am scared that Ricky can hear it.

I bury my face in his left shoulder and whisper, "Please don't leave me. Don't ever let me go."

Ricky grabs me by the shoulders gently pushing me away from his body. He faces me and cups my face in is hands. I wrap my hands around his wrists and let my elbows dangle. The left part of his sweatshirt is damp from my tears.

"Quinn," he says as he points his eyes to mine, "I'm not going anywhere, ever. I am going to stay with you and help you raise this baby. You are not in this alone. Understand me?"

"I can't keep it..." I shy away from his eyes as I avert my vision to my feet.

"You don't have to decide that right no-"

"I'm sixteen, Ricky! I can't even handle the pressure of school. And I can't drive and I don't have a job..." I trail off.

"But I can drive, and I have a job and I am almost finished with school. Quinn, we've got this."

I take in a deep breath and let it out slowly. I don't know what to do. I retreat back my hospital bed slowly and rest my head on the pillows. I stare blankly at the wall next to my bedside searching for any dry paint bubbles or dents or marks. I hear Ricky's breaths slow and assume he's asleep so I take the chance to examine my belly. I pull up my hospital gown over my blueish underwear to reveal my stomach. The bruise that Eli marked me with still covers about a fourth of my belly. I press my hands on either side of the bruise and close my eyes.

There is a human inside of me. Living and breathing, or at least I think that't what it is doing... Unless it's not alive. Unless Eli killed it. Eli killed my baby. No. No! "No!"