The Show Must Go On

9

"You okay?"

I'm hugging my knees while picking up pebbles and throwing them in the water. I'm with my 98 liners friends now, but I chose to be alone for a while in front of this mini pond here at the park.

Moonbin sat on the grass beside me. He leaned backwards, with his hands on the grass, while his legs were relaxed.

"You didn't do anything, okay?" he added

I looked at him beside me, he just smiled, a comforting one.

"then, why are you not responding to my texts? You're not answering my calls!"I glared at him. I bit my lower lip because I can feel my cheeks heated, on the verge of crying again.

Because I didn't have someone to tell my problems if he's not around, I don't have someone to rant on. All these days, I thought he's mad at me, that he's avoiding me. And I felt bad and guilty for unknown reason.

"missed me?" he laughed and sat properly on the grass. He  lift his other hand to pat my back.

I didn't answer and continued what I am doing earlier. If this hang out didn't happen, he will not talk to me. I bet.

"I'm sorry because I avoided you, in purpose." he suddenly confessed.

I turned to face him with my creased forehead. Why would he do that?

"I did not answer your calls in purpose, as well as your text. Because I think it would help." he added while looking in front of us, while I'm still confused.

"help you with what?" I asked

He shook his head, sighing.

"You're part of my life no matter how hard I try to avoid you, you're in my life since I was young, until now." he paused.
"you will be forever in here." he pointed at his heart.

I'm still looking at him with my furrowed brows. I couldn't understand anything.

"So, I should really accept everyhting. I will stop blaming myself for being too late, for wasting the chances. Maybe if I will accept that I lost-" he stopped talking and looked down. He forced a smile and lifted his face to look at me straight in the eyes.

" Sorry, that I'm not there when you needed me. "

The memory of that day when I'm crying alone on the stairs because I had no one, flashed inside my head.

Someone judged me, told me that I'm rude. Judging me, without knowing me that deep. It hurt so much, it might be shallow for others, but it's not for me.

I was judged so many times, and I'm not that brave like how I look like.

I am thankful for my personality, for my mask because I look like brave, it's covering my vulnerable self.

"how are you?" I asked him in a small voice.

I heard him chuckled. "wow, you're not going to punch me or anything? That's new." he commented

I put my chin on my knees, which I'm hugging.

"Am I rude?" I asked out of nowhere. That made him went silent.

"who told you that?"

I shook my head. "nothing, just remembering all the comments about me." I lied.

"you're not, you're too king for this world. You think of others before thinking of yoursekf. You're selfless, and I won't get tired of explaining that to you haters. Even if that someone is a celebrity, I might punch him."