Breaking Through Time

Chapter 17 The moment of the truth

You were going to take charge, Bethany! I shout at myself in my head while this absolutely amazing man continues to shower me with kisses. I lift my hands and I wrap them around his neck. Which encourages him to continue. I try to show my affection back to him and pull myself closer to him. He starts to kiss me down my neck as he moves my hair away. My body starts to tremble and I am struggling to catch a breath, my head is spinning... He starts to gently remove my wet dress from my shoulders, providing more bare skin for him to kiss and caress. I start to literally slip down as my legs refuse to hold me up. So he pulls me tight against his body and my feet are now floating in the air. As he is about to continue to further remove my dress. He realises, that the laces are at the back. He turns me around, still holding me tight between his masculine arms, struggling to undo the tangled laces. I take a big breath as I face the wall of the tent and feel the wooden shelves drive into my stomach.

I start to think clearly now... Being in charge of my life doesn't have to mean this... I still have a choice... We still had a choice...We haven't done anything yet, that we could regret...

"We have to stop... We should talk first..."

"Talk about what? You said you wanted me to stay. I stayed" I can hear the smirk in his voice as he says it. He is still holding me in the air struggling to undo the laces of my dress.

"Yes, but you need to hear what I need to say because you might want to decide to leave after you learn the truth about me..."

"Nothing you could possibly say would make me ever want to leave you..."

"Don't say that... You don't know what I am going to say..."

"I know how I feel...  After today, I know that only death could take us apart."

"There are things that tear families apart, trust me I know..."

"So you consider me a family?"

"Oh, that's not what I meant" I grunt as I shout at myself in my head, I am making things worse! He needs to know before this gets out of hand.

"So what do you mean," he asks as he turns me around and I feel that he had untied my laces making my dress completely loose and it's now only my elbows keeping it tight around my breast. I know if I move the dress will fall down to the floor and I will be reviled completely naked.

"I mean..." He looks deep into my eyes and his presence completely mesmerises me, I am no longer able to think straight.

"I need you to let me go first..." I start to wriggle, trying to escape his arms, which he seems to enjoy as he tightens his hold on me and smiles and says

"Where are you going? You were about to explain? I am listening?"

I stop my struggle and make a deep sigh and say

"I can't talk to you like this, I am wet, cold, dirty..."

"You didn't seem to mind any of that a few minutes ago?"

"Well I do mind it now, could you please let me change?" I say it with a serious face and I think he now knows that I mean it, so he lets me go.

I pick up my clothes, which I have dropped on the floor in the moment of passion and I look at him, still gazing on me.

"I need you to turn around," I say

"If you would have only waited a few more minutes I would have relieved you from this dress completely," he says with a smirk on his face

"I will go and get you warm tea," He says with a warm smile before leaving the tent.

As I quickly change I realise the warmth in my heart I have for this man. I have only known him for a short time, but he managed to save my life on many occasions without asking for anything in return. He was a rare man to find and I was lucky I came across him...

I was dressed and I put some fours on me, to try and warm up my body. I was untangling my hair when Boleslaw returned to the tent with a cup of warm tea.

Thank you I said as I led him to the place where we usually sleep. We sit down and as I sip my tea. I look at this smiling man before.

"This is not easy for me to say... and I worry that when I do say it you will think that I am crazy or I am laying or I don't know what else..." He flips at me with his lashes, clearly amused by this. and I continue

"What you said yesterday at the fireplace... I can't deny it... I have feelings for you... How could I not? You have saved my life countless times, you are a brave, strong and wise man. You take good care of me... and... There is between us... something... something real.

The honest truth is I didn't want to see it until yesterday, I was denying it with every fibre of my being. I was never supposed to meet you and I was never supposed to be here..."

I went on and I told him first about my name, that it was Bethany and I was not a Valgarian. Then about Michael and how he kidnapped me in time and how he abandoned me here and about my family, which is alive and must think that I have abandoned them.

As I have been sharing my story I saw how the smile from earlier, the cheeky confidence and spark in his eyes were slowly disappearing. I was relieved that he believes me and doesn't feel as it is some sort of a ploy for him to leave me alone.

"So you see, if I stay with you and we start our life together and someday... maybe next week or next month or in a year or in ten years... Michael returns and will want to take me back home? What will I do? Which one of my families will I have to abandon?... Do you wish a life with me knowing that I might leave you someday, to go back to my husband, my kids, my parents and friends and home?"

I see the worry on his face and pain in his eyes as we sit there in silence. Which he finally breaks.

" I am sorry for the fate that has meet you. I wish I could help you get back home..."
"Thank you " I answer as a tear falls down my cheek. He comes closer and takes me into his arms, kisses the top of my head as I allow tears to run down my face quietly. I know this is it. Any hope for a life with this man is over...

He holds me in his arms for a while. Until we both fall asleep. When I wake up I am still in his arms, laying on his chest listening to his breathing. I don't dare to move, I want this moment to last as long as possible... This is the only goodbye I will get.

I didn't get to say goodbye to Robert and my kids on that hectic morning. Except for the short " bye" at the door as I was looking at them cramming into the car...

This time I will take my time and enjoy every second of the warmth and kind love that Boleslaw is offering. I am saying goodbye to him, but also to any other love I could possibly have here, in this time... I know that if I could not commit to a man like him, there is no one I will be able to build my life with in this time...

From this point forward I will be lonely.

My thoughts got disturbed by Frida walking in abruptly through the flap to our tent

" it is the middle of the day, what are you... still sleeping?" She looks at us cuddled up and got a bit uncomfortable and quickly left the tent.
Boleslaw's eyes shoot open and we both sat up straight.

Later on that day Boleslaw went to find out when others of his country will be heading back home.
" In two days at dawn... Arne, are you going to join me?"
"No my friend... I am going to go back with Frida and her clan. We want to be wed" he says the last part almost whispering
" Very well then. I am happy for you two. Happy couple! Congratulations! " He says while raising his cup and everyone sitting around the fireplace cheers.

The next couple of days pass by fast, but at ease. We know exactly where we stand and we take comfort in that. We still spend every moment together. I don't have to hide my affection for him and he doesn't hold back either. We know the end of our moment together is coming, but wish to enjoy what we have left.

Finally, on the early morning of his departure, I kiss him gently for the very last time and I watch him ride away.