Breaking Through Time

Chapter 18 Lonley is not my favourite feeling

It's been a few days since Boleslaw has left. I was now getting ready to leave together with Frida and her clan. We had a lot to pack and organise.

The trip was going to be long and we were given a lot of trophies, gold and other things, as our clan was recognised by the king for bravery and cunningness. We also had a lot of food with us to take.

Many people have already left and the camp became scarce and mostly empty.

When we finally were ready I was sad to leave this place... I was going further away from where I last saw Michael and I were going away from the place I last saw love...

It took us two days of walk until we reach the seashores. There are many large boats docked here. I recognise the carvings on the boats with mermaids or serpents carved in wood on it. We are travelling together with the king's personal army and he is providing us with one of his boats to take us home.

We travel for over a month over the sea before I see the shores of my new home. While on the boat I continue learning from Frida how to fight. I think I might need these skills in the new reality of my life.

Once I am introduced to Frida's father and her tribe I feel pretty confident as a warrior.

They accept me as one of their own. Frida explains that I have been a brave warior and partly by my actions the tribe has been recognised by the king and given the gifts and honours. This testimony gave me a secure status within the tribe.

In my new home, I was granted a hut in the village and I made it my own. I was taken in by the shieldmaidens community and I join them for regular exercise, sword practice and also hunting trips into the woods.

The first couple of weeks are the most difficult. I keep seeing either Michael's face or hearing my kids laugh... I cry myself to sleep every night. With it all I somehow also feel hartbroken about Boleslaw...

As the weeks pass by I realise that when I am busy, the time seems to be passing by quickly, but when I am left alone in my hut I often cry missing Robert and the kids... And Boleslaw... And Michael...

Arne and Frida got married the night we arrived in the village. Their wedding coincided with the celebrations of our return. After a couple of months, they decided to go back to Polan land and tell Arne's family about their union. Once they have left I felt even more lonely.

Even though the people in the village have been very welcoming and warm I kept to myself most of the time. I know that just because of the fame that Frida gave me people were kean to meet me and become friends. But I feel way to hurt by recent strangers entering my life and abandoning me I just dont have any more room for anyone else at the moment.

***

Its been over four months since Frida and Arne have left. I got into a routine here. I go hunting for five days once every couple of weeks. The rest of the time I train with other shieldmaidens. I am used to now the constant loneliness and I have learned to live with it.

I started to have admirers. Men, that announced they wish to wed me. There was four of them now that I have declined within the last three weeks. I realise now that my refusal seems to only attract more men. There is one man, in particular, that keeps on observing me. Ragda... He is one of the hunters, advisors and best friend to the Jarl. I feel his gaze on me on daily basis. Luckily he hasn't approached me yet, and hopefully, he won't.

I am hunting. I have been following this deer for the last three hours and the last hour I have spent laying in this wet grass, waiting for the opportunity to strike. As I throw my knife at it and runn thowards it with my sword to end the deer's life. I see that from the oposite direction Ragda is running with his sword. He attacks the deer and swiftly ends the anilals struggle.