VENDETTA [ kylo ren ]

twenty-eight

28. caring

HE DIDN'T KNOW WHAT had gotten into him. He wasn't acting like himself. He wasn't feeling like himself. Everything felt wrong, or right, he didn't know that either. All he knew was that the woman on the bed in front of him was dying, and he was scared.

It wasn't the same sort of fright he was used to. He had felt scared before, back when he was still training with Luke, and he felt scared often at the thought of Snoke. But this wasn't the same. He wasn't scared for himself, he was scared for her. He hadn't been scared for anyone else in a very long time. He couldn't even remember it.

He roamed a hand through his hair and sighed deeply. Why was he so scared? Was it because she was important to Snoke? No, it couldn't be that. If she'd die, the Supreme Leader would be angry at him, but that wasn't what he was afraid of. But if not that, what could it be?

They weren't even friends, were they? She was nothing more than his apprentice. A princess who he was supposed to train like he had been trained. She was doing well, very well. A lot better than he would've thought for someone who hadn't even known of their sensitivity for twenty-five years. Was that it? The fact the Order would lose an exceptional addition to their ranks? No, it wasn't that, either.

What could it be? No matter how much he wanted to know, he didn't.

His thoughts were harshly interrupted by the door opening. He shot up immediately, and didn't relax when he saw the man who had brought them into his home.

The man smiled kindly. "I have brought our doctor," he explained.

A woman entered behind him and immediately turned to an unconscious Vada on the bed in the corner of the small room. She put down a case which revealed all kinds of medical equipment and kneeled down besides the bed. The woman reached to lift Vada's shirt.

"Careful," Kylo shot out, he didn't even think about it. It just came out, like an instinct.

The woman turned around and frowned, "don't worry. I'll be very careful." She turned her attention back to the gaping wound in Vada's abdomen. "What happened?"

Kylo hesitated. This woman didn't need to know who they were, he didn't know where they were and therefore he didn't know if this region was Order territory. He guessed not, from the way they hadn't recognized the helmet, yet. "A crash," he stated. He quickly covered up the helmet with a cloth.

"Are you with the Republic?" she then asked as she put some disinfectant on Vada's wound.

Kylo remained quiet for a few seconds. "No. We're just traveling."

"So, how did you crash?" she then asked.

"Engine failure."

She nodded, "that's why I don't like ships. Or technology," she said, "only thing you can rely on are these," she waved with her free hand. "Droids, ships...can't be trusted."

Kylo didn't engage in conversation, he was far too concentrated for that. "Where are we?" he asked after a little while.

"The lake country," the man, who had been standing at the door, said. Then he smiled, "Naboo."

Kylo's breath hitched in his throat. He felt like all the air had suddenly left his body. He knew Naboo. Of course he knew it. His mother took him there when he was younger. His grandmother was born here, she was Queen here. She was buried here.

He leaned back against the wall to steady himself. Naboo wasn't a place he'd ever wanted to return to. Not since the last time his mother took him there, before he went off to train with Luke. This place reminded him too much. Of Luke, his mother, the life he had before he joined Snoke. He didn't want to think about any of it.

He heard the doctor sigh. He steadied himself instantly. "What is it?"

Her abdomen was bandaged, but she was already bleeding through it. He noticed the sweat on her forehead and how slow she was breathing.

The doctor stood up and turned to him with a weak smile. "I bandaged her wound, gave her something for the pain but...."

He unconsciously raised his voice "...but what?"

"The wound, it's very deep and she's lost a lot of blood. I-I doubt she'll make it through the night."

His eyes widened and he looked away from the doctor, to were Vada was fighting for her life. "Is uh...is there something I can do?"

The woman looked at him sadly, "all you can do is make her comfortable, and wait. I'm sorry."

If he wasn't so distraught, he would've whipped out his saber and torn the place apart. But he couldn't. He was a mess. His emotions were all over the place.

The doctor left the room quietly. "I'll leave some clothes outside the door for you," the man said, before he left too, closing the door behind him.

He didn't know what to do. He fell on his knees beside the bed and took her arm in his hand. He gently shook her, "come on...you have to wake up." He had no idea why he was doing this, sitting beside the bed of a girl he was only supposed to teach. But he was, and he was still scared, for her.

He ungloved his hands and slightly lifted her shirt to look at the bandages, they were already stained red. He was losing her, and he was losing her fast.

His hand found her cheek and he carefully stroke the hair out of her face. "You can't die, not you."

He had to do something, he couldn't just watch her die, not like this. He had to do something, anything. "Vada?" of course she didn't answer. "Please...don't die."

Never in the years since he had joined Snoke had he felt like this. Afraid, sad. Snoke hadn't allowed it. And he didn't know why, or how, but it was as if just being in her company had washed it away, even if it was only a part of it. Like she had broken down pieces of the wall Snoke had made him built, without even trying.

As he stared at her beautiful pale face, his mind wandered to a moment a very long time ago. To a book his uncle Luke gave him as a child, a book about the powers of the Force. He remembered something he had read all that time ago, a memory he didn't even know he still had.

He knew he shouldn't, Snoke would kill him. But he knew now, why he was scared. As much as he hated it, he knew. He cared about her, even though he shouldn't, but he did.

And he wasn't going to let her die. It took all the energy he had left in him to calm down and focus on her. He laid his hand on her bandages, he focused everything on saving her, and he did.