13 Novella 4

Shown

They walk back to the medbay in a somber procession, and you find you wake again when you are placed back in you bed. You keep your eyes closed as they arrange themselves closer.

Missy takes off your outer layer of clothing and Jenny swaddles you in warm towels which you snuffle into gratefully.

The Doctor gently removes your mask and does a few more checks while the other two shoot you anxious glances.

"Well that was unexpected" says Missy, breaking the silence, mouth twitching.

"You think this is funny?" Hisses Jenny defensively and Missy smirks.

"Ironic more like. The girl can go for a swim but can't open her mouth" replies Missy, unbelievably giggling.

"Missy, she could have drowned!" says Jenny furiously and you feel a fight coming on as Missy opens her mouth to retort.

"I have got one hell of a headache, so will you both kindly shut up?" you mumble, eyes still closed.

There is a silence as they take in the fact that you have just spoken for the first time in weeks before Jenny turns and strokes your hair.

"Please don't do that again my love, it scared the shit out of us" says Missy, smiling slightly.

You screw up your face and open you eyes.

"Well hello (Y/n)" says The Doctor in surprise.

"You could've just let me drown" you mumble and they pause.

"No, we really couldn't" replies Jenny quietly, taking your other hand. You can feel your anxiety rising already, so, shaking them off you sit up slightly, blinking confusedly.

"(Y/n) what happened?" Whispers Missy, and it hits you like a shit ton of bricks.

While in your depressed catatonia, your mind had been empty and unthinking. Emotion was one tenth of what you felt, and everything was so distant and detached. But now it all came flooding back.

You begin to gasp, failing to take in any air, tears flowing down your cheeks as you shake.

"Oh god oh god oh god" you say as the memories of what he did to you plague your mind. You place your hands over your ears and throw your head into your knees, whacking it over and over again.

"Doctor she's having a panic attack!" Calls Jenny and you feel all pressure release as they give you space.

You howl and scream into your knees while they try desperately to calm you down, but it doesn't touch you.

"No! Get away from me! GET IT AWAY FROM ME!" You scream, feeling his fingers scrabble at your clothes.

You shake and sob until someone wraps their hand firmly around your wrist, making you panic all the more.

Only now you can see.

You see a huge galaxy, filled with stars and planets, and constellation and colours. And it is so beautiful.

You slowly stop screaming as you try to focus. The image is moving slightly, like it's happening in real time.

You sigh and relax a little more, feeling their grip loosen.

"There you go. Breathe now (Y/n), you're safe, and so far away." The Doctor whispers, and you know she is telling the truth. The Galaxy is what she sees, and it is beautiful.

"I'm safe" you repeat and you feel her nod, gently lying you back into the bed with your eyes still closed. You are vaguely aware of someone placing a pillow under your head, and someone else pulling a blanket over you. You breathe, allowing the galaxy behind your eyes to consume you. You feel safe and warm and calm, just spectating.

"Now, do you want to go to sleep?" Asks The Doctor evenly and you nod dreamily.

"I want to go to sleep" you repeat in a dull echo of your own voice.

"Do you know that we love you?" Says Jenny, and you respond in the same careful tone.

"I know that you love me"

"And that you are safe? And that you always will be, here on The Tardis." Whispers The Doctor, sat on the edge of your bed.

"No one here will hurt me here. I am safe. They won't do what he did..." you mumble and the arms around yours stiffen. "I know that you won't let me hurt myself" you mutter with a content little smile. "And that's a shame, because if you knew what I did you would let me" you say almost illegibly. They are very quiet.

"I don't think you could've done anything wrong" whispers Missy and you smile.

"You have too much faith in me then."

And with that you slip into a dreamless sleep, the galaxy still behind your eyes.