I will always love you <3

𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟑

*TW!*

Crockett's POV:

As soon as Natalie brought out those two words, my entire world stopped for a minute. I just stared at her with a blank expression. I tried to bring out words, but as soon as I tried, everything came rushing back. 

Everything I had tried to keep away, to never ever let it get to me again, came rushing back. All the agony, the pain, the tears, the hospitals, her little face... everything came back to me. I felt my heart rate speeding up, and I started to feel light-headed. I stuttered, trying to say something, to tell her how I really felt, but I couldn't make one word. It was too hard, as a sharp pain, one I had only felt after Harper died, came stinging into my chest and took my breath away.

Natalie looked at me, with a somewhat sad face "I- you don't- I haven't actually thought about it yet. I just found out today, and I still have to figure out what I'll do, so I gotta figure that out first. Just please do tell me in time what you think, so that I know if I have to prepare for going through this alone" she said somewhat angry, right before she opened the door and left. I wanted to stop her, but I was frozen. As soon as she closed the door, my legs started getting weak. I just made it over to a wall, only to drop on the floor, having the feeling like my lungs were suppressed. I tried to breathe in as hard as I could, but it felt like no oxygen was ever reaching my lungs.

After what felt like hours, my breathing finally calmed down, and my mind became less of a tornado. Yet, before I knew it, the tears started rolling down my face, and I started sobbing like a little kid. I didn't know how to stop or control it, everything just came back out. Once I sat there for, yet another, long while, I properly realized how I had reacted to Natalie, and I felt so incredibly horrible. I mean, she had just found out that she was pregnant, and I stared at her, instead of supporting her. I immediately reached for my phone and looked up Natalie's contact. I stared at the bright light coming from my phone, realizing I hadn't even thought about what I wanted. I let out a deep sigh, and closed my eyes. What was I going to tell her? 

I stood up and walked over to a cabinet. I picked out a full bottle of whiskey and opened it. I stared deeply into the bottle, hesitating if I was going to fall back into my old pattern, but right now, I really did not care. I threw back the bottle, tears pouring down my face. Before I knew it, I ended up passing out drunk and sobbing on my couch.