I will always love you <3

𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟏𝟏

*TW: blood/injury*

Crockett's POV:

The night before

I hear the door close, as I'm still on my knees cleaning up the mess I made. Of course it wasn't a mess, but it really feels like one know. I just thought that we were far enough along our reltionship, for me to ask the question, but I guess I was wrong. I go around picking up rose pettles and blowing out candles, contstantly seeing her hesitant face in front of me. I promised myself that I wouldn't be dissappointed if she didn't say yes, but I can't help feeling my vision getting blurry. I sniff, and quickly wipe my tears, as I feel myself getting angry, just out of dissappointment. I stand up, drop the petals, and in a flash of anger, I just kick them away. I kick away the petals and the candles, my mind completely blank. I run to the bathroom, angry at myself for even thinking of all this, and splash water on my face. I breathe heavily, looking at myself in the mirror, and in the blink of an eye, I punch the mirror as hard as I can. 

Right after that, my mind goes back to normal, and I hear the shattering of the mirror, and see the glass falling into the sink. I look up again, and notice a bloody circle on the mirror. I look at my hand, finding it open and bleeding, still with some pieces of glass in it. I sigh, and rub my eyes, as I grab some tissues to try and stop the bleeding. I turn on the sink, and hold my hand under it. I take the pieces of glass out of my hand and fingers, wincing, as my adrenaline level drops, the pain kicks in. Now I feel even more stupid, but in a more embarassed way. 

Once I bandaged my hand, I change into my pyjama, and decide to clean my messes up tomorrow. I sigh, and lay down in bed. I pick up my phone and look at it, hoping for something to either distract me, or a maybe even a message from Natalie. 

The next day a few hours later

I enter the ED, and go to the breakroom. After changing, I leave the breakroom, and run into Natalie. I don't know what to say, so I just mumble something close to 'hi', as she notice my hand. She looks at me a little upset, "what happened to your hand?" she asks with a concerned tone. I try and hide my embarassment, and just answer politely "Uh, nothing, little accident, it's fine". I give her a polite smile, and just quickly walk away. I turn my head just enough to see Natalie standing there, dissappointed by my reaction. I feel bad, but just continue walking.

I walk up to the counter, to ask Maggie for patients, but as soon as I walk up to her, she looks at me awkwardly. I realise that she might have told Natalie about the whole thing, and I'm again not sure what to say. "Uhm- I, wanted to ask you if you have any patients for me?" I ask. "Yeah, check your Ipad, treatment 7" she says, but stops me before I want to walk away, "look, I heard about what happened, and I'm really sorry that it happened like that. A little advice though, just wait a bit. Stay with her, tell her you love you, because she really loves you, she just needs a little time, she's had her heart broken a lot of times" she says. I look at her with a little smile, nodding in understandement, as I walk away. 

A few hours later

I check up on a patient, and as I leave, I pass the roof. I see someone standing there, with a very familiar silhouette, and realise that it's Natalie. I open the door, and the cold wind cuts into my sleeveless arms. I see her slightly turning her head, and what seemed out of embarassement, she turned it back quickly. "Hey, what are you still doing here? Wasn't your shift over a while ago?" I ask, but she ignores me, yet I think nothing of it. I walk up to her, already shivering a bit, and stand next to her. 

We both look over the Chicago skyline silently for a few minutes. I decide to speak, "Look, Nat, I'm really sorry, I shouldn't have jumped to any big decision so fast, I mean we're still busy with the last big decision, as it were" I say, with a slight chuckle. 

She turns to me "It's ok, I know you were just doing it out of love, and I also didn't want to hurt you, but it, it was just a little too quickly. And just because I said no, doesn't mean that it was a stupid idea, or that I'd want to leave you, cause' I'm guessing that that's sort of the cause of what happened to your hand?" she says, and it seems as if a little smile is breaking through. I chuckle, a little embarassed, but then look at her "I know, which is also why I still wanted to apologise. I love you" I say  "oh, and here I go again, but, you know with the baby and all, I thought it might be best if we maybe move in together, might make some things easier, right?" I say, before I add "if that's alright with you, you know, you decide". 

She giggles, and stares into my eyes, "I'd love to." a big smile forms itself on my face, and I put my arm around her, giving her a kiss on her head.

She takes my arm, and leans her head on it. As soon as she notices the goose bumps on my arm, she says "You're freezing" concerned, and takes my hand to warm it a little up. "It's fine" I say, "You wanna go home? I'll make a late night dinner?", and she nods. We walk towards the door, and head home.