BxB Cashby Healed My Heart (Completed)

Chapter 1

I gasped as I woke up in a pile of sweat. My breathing was erratic and my heart was racing as I checked the alarm clock. 6:52. I took a deep breath as I tried to remember the nightmare that had woken up from my slumber but I couldn't recall it. I sighed in defeat and just gave up.

My eyes felt extremely heavy like they always do now. It was completely normal for me to wake up this way because I cried myself to sleep most nights and would wake up abruptly most mornings. It also didn't help that I didn't get to sleep until 5. I shut off the alarm before stretching out my tense muscles.

I took a deep heavy breath to prepare myself for the torture that they call school. I didn't have a bad time of it. I was lucky really...I managed to keep my head down and keep reserved to my small group of friends. We weren't popular but we never really got bullied or picked on.

So, I should be happy right? Wrong. I don't know what's wrong with me. My parents love me and my friends seem to like me and I have a good life. But for as long as I've remembered, I've hated myself.

I wasn't good looking at all. I was pale and skinny with ginger hair that swept across my face. It was good to hide behind and shield myself from the world. Even though my friends had never ditched me, I was constantly worrying about upsetting them or doing something to make them hate me.

Have you ever looked around a group of your friends and thought, I don't contribute anything here, would they even notice if I was gone? Because that was constantly on my mind. I'm a boring person who can be incredibly selfish sometimes; no-one deserves to put up with my shit.

I was pretty quiet in fear of upsetting them and when I did talk, I would go home and wish that I hadn't bothered because I was just a nuisance.

I changed into my Pink Floyd t-shirt and my black skinnies before grabbing my school bag. I was early but, I would just take the long way to school. Even though it was probably a bad idea because when I'm left alone, I think.

And my thoughts aren't exactly pretty. I bounded down the stairs to see my parents already sat at the table eating breakfast. It was time for the charade to kick in.

"Hey," I fake smiled at them.

"Hi Alan," my mom smiled cheerfully, "Do you want some breakfast sweetie?"

"Nah, I'm good," I shrugged.

"You should eat something, you're skinny enough as it is," My dad encouraged.

He was right. I was too fucking skinny but no matter how much I ate, I couldn't put weight on. My body was so frustrating and I wish that I could just look healthier but I can't.

I nodded at my dad before picking up a slice of toast, "Okay...I'm going to school."

"Not without a kiss," My mother walked over to me.

I smiled down at her as she wrapped her arms around my neck. I held tightly onto her appreciating just how great she really was. She deserved a much better son than me. She deserved someone who loved life and was full of energy. But instead she got me.

She kissed my cheek, "Have a good day."

"Thanks, I will," I smiled before waving goodbye to my dad.

As soon as I opened the door, I breathed a sigh of relief. Have a good day. I haven't had one of those in months.

***

I walked into the school halls way too early but there were already a few people there. I stood by my locker and plugged my earphones in to block the world out. I must have been stood there for about ten minutes when a tap on my shoulder made me jump.