I hate you.. I think.

chapter 32! :)

So many thoughts are running through my head right now.. why is Cody Simpson here? who was the blonde girl? why the heck am i here? where's mackenzie?

Then my mom walked in and smiled at me. You know one of those awkward smiles. not a i'm happy smile, it was an "i don't know what to say but i'm glad you're alive" smiles. i smile back.

"mommy, where's kenz?" i ask her.

a sad look crossed her face, i was so confused.

"darling, can you tell me the date really quick" my mom asked.

"yeah, it's june 6th, 2012."

tears stream down her face.

"honey, i don't know what to say.. it''s July 5th, 2012."

"what? no. i just got out of school yesterday."

"no honey, you've been out of school for a month."

"where's kenzie, mom?" i ask her again.

'"Savannah, i'm sorry i have to break this to you, but Kenzie moved.. to Florida." she says.

"WHAT?! no she didn't! i was hanging out with her today!"

" No.. you weren't ... she left a few weeks ago, hun. she says.

i felt tears fall from her eyes.

"mommy, why can't i remember? what happened? why is that boy here? who is the chick?"

"hunny, i think this is a lot to process for you right now, how about we talk about this later?"

"NO MOM. i want to know now. please" i say.

"baby, you were in a car accident. you were in Cody's limo on the way back to his house."

"What?" i say so confused.

"you met cody a month ago on the beach, and you guys started dating a few weeks ago."

"hahahahah no. i hate him i would NEVER go out with him " i say.

" yes, that's what you told me weeks ago but something changed. you fell in love with him and you were at a premier and wanted to come home early. the car swirved and now we're here."

"can you make him leave, i really don't want to see him."

"honey, he's only here cause he cares about you and he loves you." she says.

"no he doesn't, he doesn't even know me mom." i say.

"honey, you loved him, a lot."

"well, i don't rememeber and you can't make me love someone i don't."

"honey, i;m not trying to! i'm just saying please don't try to push him away for caring."

i roll my eyes.

"i want him gone." i say.

"honey."

"no, mom. i don't like him and i don't want to see him. who was the girl?"

"that was, Alli. one of your best friends. Codys Sister.."

i feel tears come from my eyes. It's not dair everyone remembers this past month but me.

"I'm going to take a nap, mom." i say.

I lay my head down and fall asleep instantly.

I wake up a few hours later and i see the blonde girl sitting in the seat my mom was sitting in just a few hours before.

"hey" she says.

"hi" i say.

"I know you don't remember me, but my name's Alli."

"i wish i could remember."

"i know you probably don't want to talk to me or whatever but umm if you need me just text me okay?" she says and stands up.

"thanks." i say.

 she walks out and i grab my phone. i click on photos and start from the most recent. It was me and cody before the premiere. We both looked.. so happy. i scroll back wards. i see a few selfies, pictures of the beach, a few pics of a dog which im assuming is Cody's, me and alli's selfies, and then i get to me and kenz at the airport. We were both in tears but had a smile on our face. i miss her. I get interrupted by a knock on the door. i look up to see cody standing by the foot of my bed.

"hey, savannah."

i just bite by lip and lock my phone.

"i know. i know you don't like me and you don't remember. i know. i know i'm literally the LAST person you want to be talking to right now. i know you hate me. i know you wish that i wasn't here. but i just wanted to let you know that i'm glad you're okay and i'm sorry."

"Cody, you're right. i'm sorry that i don't remember this last month."

"don't appologize."

"please go, cody."

"okay, savannah."

__________________________________________________________________________

Three days pass and i finally get released from the hospital. I got to skype with Kenz the other night, i really miss her. My mom took time off work so she can stay home with me, she has to go back to New York in a few days though. I don't know where i'm staying.. It stinks when you walk into your own room and don't remember anything about half of thr pictures on the wall, don't rememeber buying the shirt laying on your floor, don't remember drinking the soda on your bedside table. it really stinks not knowing where you got the beautiful necklace in your jewelry box, when you don't remember wearing the heels in your closet, when you don't remeber reading the magazine issue on your bed. it's horrible.

Cody has called me a few times, but i don't answer. i really don't know what to say to him. 

i just don't remember.