Whirling Thoughts, Weird Ideas

Defending Make-up

Feb 16th 2021

I love make-up. I don't know what it's so hard for me to say it/admit it. I've been wearing make-up for a long time, since I was 12, and WOW I've got quite a bit to say!

Because I started wearing make-up at such a young age (thank you to the girls who destroyed my self esteem when I was 9) I became so insecure with myself, not because I didn't wear make-up but when I wore it around people. I'm still so insecure when it comes to wearing make-up, I'm 18 and it gives me *huge* imposter syndrome. It gives me confidence yes, but at the same time I still feel like a kid and it's only when I see my reflection I'm like: "oh yeah, it's fine. It fits in with my image". I somewhat look like the girls I always admired when I was little and in a way I like that.

It's not like I hate the way I look without make-up, anyone who lives or knows me irl knows that I go through periods of not bothering with my appearance. However lately I've really gotten into it again, I wear make-up everyday, not for any other reason than it makes me feel good. It's a way of expressing myself artistically and it's also a way of highlighting my maturity in a way. Despite how I feel on the inside I know that on the outside I look like the adult I want to be.

Just having the time to put on the make-up is like "me time" before a busy day and it makes me feel calm. It's like a ritual of preparing yourself for the day, giving you a bit of time to relax and breath instead of going straight to work. It's taking time for you. However one thing that annoys me so much is when I do my make-up slightly more extravagantly than usual and everyone comments about how I take an hour just to do it, which isn't true. After 6 years of practice I put it on really fast despite how complicated and difficult it looks.

I used to have a very toxic mindset when it came to wearing make-up, I would only wear it with the intent of hiding behind it, hiding who I truly was. Until a few weeks ago I used make-up to sort of gage how I feel, if I was depressed I put on more, if I was happy I'd put a bunch of glitter on.

Another thing that really feeds my insecurity is people always telling me how I don't need make-up and how I don't even need to cover up the few acne spots I have. Just because I don't have bad acne doesn't mean I don't have other skin problems (which I do), wearing make-up just makes me feel confident about myself.

Nobody should be judged and criticized about what they wear, and judging and criticising just lowers their self-esteem even more and feeds all their insecurities. Nobody should feel bad for expressing themselves in the way they want, just because it doesn't agree with you doesn't mean you can't be supportive. Maybe instead of criticizing you could help them find the look that best suits them while expressing who they really are. (not trying to call anyone out here, I just wanted to end this essay with a nice message)

Thank you for reading this. I hope you're all good, look after yourselves ('▽'ʃ♡ƪ)