BULLETS | JEMILY

fairy lights

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The way her body existed only where he touched her. The rest of her was smoke.

Arundhati Roy - The God Of Small Things

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{EMILY}

That feeling feels so good, just to have her back in front of me, in my arms, kissing my lips, feeling my touch. I'd craved it for so long and now I had it, I didn't want to let go. "Hey, JJ, as much as I love you, we are still in the bowling alley." I whisper after sensing that people were watching us. She blushes and takes a step back, grinning broadly. It is so good to see her smile like that again. It takes her a second, but then she takes a hold of my hand and looks right into my eyes. "Would you like to come back home with me?" She asks. It's so quiet, it's barely a whisper, but it's the words that I have been longing to hear for ages. "I would, but only if you're ready for that." I reply, equally quiet. She nods to confirm and slowly pulls me towards the entrance. I feel like I'm gliding through a dream, a perfect dream, as she takes the wheel this time and drives us back to her house and races to unlock the door and leads me inside. I'm fifteen again, head over heels for the prettiest girl in the entire universe, and nothing else matters but her.

With the lights off, we head up the stairs to her bedroom. I realise that I haven't really spent much time in her house, let alone her bedroom, and can't remember the last time I saw it; we spent much more time in my apartment. I'm shaking with excitement as she feels for the door and disappears into the darkness. "Emily?" Her light, soft voice brings me back to reality and I follow her inside. I gasp at how beautiful her bedroom is. She has a large, meticulous bed with neatly folded sheets, and fairy lights strung around the ceiling, giving the room a warm yellow glow. On one side of the room, about half the wall is covered in a collage of photographs, and upon closer inspection, I realise that they are pictures of the team and some of the victims we've saved and some of, well, me. I didn't even know she had so many pictures of us all, some probably came from Garcia. One picture captures my attention, it's of the two of us only a couple of weeks before everything went south. She's just so naturally beautiful, it's captivating.

"So, what do you think?" She asks shyly. "I think it's wonderful, honestly." I reply. "I didn't expect the fairy lights, but they're a nice touch." I add as she carefully folds over the sheets. "Can I tell you a secret about them?" She asks me. "Sure, of course." "They used to be my sister's. She had lights up in her room and after she... well I didn't want to throw them away. I couldn't, they were hers and they remind me of her every time I see them, so I kept the, and they still work which is even better." She admits. I love it when she opens up to talk to me, it isn't every day that she mentions her past. "Hey, come here." I say softly as her eyes start to look glossy. "Emily, I love you." "Me too." I whisper and lean forward to kiss her.

It's a beautiful night, but even more so beside such an amazing, beautiful woman. JJ sleeps on her side and she hasn't woken up at all so I guess the bad dreams have stopped. I always sleep better when I know that JJ is safe and she's relaxed. I roll over and carefully place my arm over her  and she snuggles closer against my chest.

We don't sleep for very long because sooner or later, my phone rings. I groan and stretch as I lean over to answer it. JJ stirs and yawns as she wakes up. "Em, what time is it?" She mutters. "Go back to sleep." I whisper and slide out of bed to answer it. "This is Agent Prentiss." I say when I get in the hall. "Emily, hey, it's Garcia. I know it's super early, but Hotch says that this case is urgent. Can you come in?" "I-uh, sure. Did he say what the case was?" "No, just that he needs everyone in." "Everyone? Does that mean JJ can come too?" "Wait, you spoke to her? Emily, how is she?" Garcia asks frantically. I tried to sigh quietly. "She's... she's okay. She just needs to keep busy, I think." "Good, good, um, I can talk to Hotch if you need, but I'm sure it'd be okay." She says but I can tell she's worried.

"What's going on?" JJ asks from the doorway. "Oh, um, that was Garcia. Uh, apparently Hotch wants everyone in." "Great, let's go." She says. "Wait, no, JJ, you're still not cleared for work, you need to rest." I say. "No, Emily, I'm fine. And you're not much better than me, so if I can't go then neither can you." I roll my eyes. She's just as stubborn as I am. "Fine, but I'm not sure how Hotch will take it." "I'll deal with that later, come on." She dismisses it and grabs her jacket. "Hey, hey, JJ, I need to change too." I remind her and she giggles. "Well you'd better hurry up and choose something then." 

In the car, we're still trying to figure out where we're at. I don't want to get my hopes up too high, but it does feel like we're almost right back on track where we left off. JJ's comfortable and hasn't been awkward at all, so I think things are looking good. Every now and then she shifts her arm but I haven't seen her nervous at all so that must be a good sign. 

"Emily, I never signed your cast, did I?" She asks as I drive. I'd actually completely forgotten about that. "Oh, um, no, but it's okay, it doesn't matter." I say quickly. "I'm sorry I was such a jerk, Em. I really am." I know that it's really hurting her. However much she hurt me over the past few weeks is nothing in comparison to how bad she must have felt to do something like that. "It's okay, JJ, all that matters is that we're here and we're both okay and things are going to get better. But I want you to promise me something." I add. "Of course, anything." I slow the car down and look at her. "The second things get hard, and I mean like straight away, you come to me. I don't care what it is, whether it's big or small, you come to me. You tell me whatever it is that's going on in your head and we work through it together. Okay?" "Okay." She says with meaning. "Great. Now let's see what this case is all about."