The Spaces In-Between

Cold Hearted Kakashi

Y/N got up and he moved so fast that she was startled as she found herself pinned against the tree.  His look was chilling as he stared her dead in the eye.  She felt a shiver go through her as she met his gaze.  What had happened to him in a year's time?

"I've been going through hell too," he finally spoke, his voice deeper than the last time she had seen him. "You have no idea what I have been going through."

"Then tell me," she said as her eyes burned. Where was the Kakashi she had always known? This young man in front of her was cold and burning with anger. "You're my best friend and I thought... I was yours."

Kakashi was sick inside as he looked at her, seeing fear in her eyes as she looked at him.  He could hear the voices inside his head of the villagers and ANBU operatives that worked with him.  Cold blooded Kakashi.  Friend Killer.  It was a miracle that he had even come here as his nights almost always had memories of killing Rin.  In truth, that is why he had not come because his dreams were not of happy times along the river, exploring caves, and kissing pretty girls.  They were of blood and death.

"What happened to your eye?" she asked, bringing his mind back to her.

Kakashi didn't want to talk about it, any of it.  Yet he could not escape the plea in her E/C eyes.  He then saw the love she had always given him in her expression, replacing the fear that had momentarily been there.  He squeezed his eyes shut and leaned forward, pressing his forehead against hers.

"I messed up and failed my team," he said softly.  "I was so focused on following all the rules that I was willing to abandon Rin when she was captured by the enemy.  Obito went after her but my conscious was bothering me.  Yes, I broke the rules."

He leaned back to look at her and was surprised to see the beginning of tears in her eyes.  Perhaps it was too much to tell her but her look was one of pleading.  He released where he was pinning her to the tree then dropped down on the ground.  She sat next to him and patted her lap.  He hesitated before laying his head in her lap as they had done a million times in the past.

"My eye got destroyed when I got to Obito.  Things only spiraled from there.  We found Rin and rescued her; however, one of the men set a bomb and the cave we were in started to collapse." He was shocked as he felt a tear slide out of the corner of his eye.  She wiped it away before running her fingers through his hair in comfort.  "Obito... Obito saved me but it cost him his life.  Before he died, he asked Rin to give me his eye to replace the one that was damaged."

Y/N was crying.  "I'm so sorry, Kakashi.  That's horrible."

"It gets worse," he spoke solemnly.  "Not long after, Rin and I were on a mission together.  She got captured and I tracked her down and rescued her.  But... they had put something in her and she knew if she returned to the village it would destroy the village.  While we were fighting our way out of enemy territory she...  She threw herself in front of me and I... I ... killed her."

Y/N framed his face with her hands before leaning down and kissed his forehead.  She was crying silently.  "Oh Kakashi... I'm so sorry.  I can't imagine how horrible that has been for you.  I'm sorry I was so angry with you."

He reached up and touched the side of her face.  "I'm sorry too... What have you been going through?"

"Nothing like you have," she whispered.

"Tell me," he spoke softly.

Y/N slowly started telling him about everything that had happened since the last time she saw him.  He listened without interruption.  When she was done he sat up and turned so that he was facing her.

"We're a couple of messes aren't we?" he finally stated.

Y/N laughed at the comment as she nodded.  "Yes, I think we are."

He looked at her with a strange expression on his face, "You're starting to look different."

She raised a brow at him, "What does that mean?"

"You're prettier," he responded honestly.

Y/N shoved him with a laugh, "What I wasn't before?  My heart is broken." She then flopped back and held her chest as if she was mortally wounded.

He jabbed her with a finger in her leg, "I'm serious.  You have a boyfriend yet?"

Y/N raised up on her elbows while raising a brow.  "No.  I don't think I want a boyfriend."

"Why not?"

She wrinkled her nose as if she smelled something nasty.  "I dunno, I just don't want one.  Boys are... They're just not nice and....  I don't want what happened to Mom to happen to me."

Kakashi pulled his leg up to his chest, resting his arms on it as he looked out at the river.  "Then don't."  He turned back to her after a long moment, "I don't think I'd like that anyways."

Y/N laughed, "Now why is that?  You'd be jealous?"

"Maybe," he answered with a slight smile not looking at her.

She shoved him, "You're a tease."

His eyes narrowed in that way that she knew as humor.  "If you say so," he responded.  "I don't know how often I will be able to come see you now.  Not because I don't want to but... because what I do now I don't sleep very much."

"What are you doing?"

"I'm an ANBU operative.  We do a lot of covert missions and... assassinations."  He was looking at her as if preparing himself for her to judge him.  She only stared back at him.  "I've killed a lot of people now, Y/N.  They call me Cold Hearted Kakashi."

"You'll never be that to me, Kakashi," she said softly.  "I know who you really are.  We've grown up together in this place...  You might do awful things but I know you do it for a reason. I love you, Kakashi.  I always will."

Kakashi stared at her for a long moment before pulling down his mask.  She was surprised at how different he looked.  His face was becoming more defined and manly.   She could still see his boyishness but he was definitely starting to grow up.  He smiled at her and leaned towards her, his hand sliding into her hair as he held the side of her face.

"And I love you..." he responded.

Her eyes widened as he leaned towards her but stopped a few inches away from her.  His eyes were looking into her own and she could see his lips were kicked up in a slight smile.

"Do you remember what I said after the first time I kissed you?"

"How could I forget?" she said as she nervously licked her lips.

"Good," he responded then closed the distance between them and kissed her again.

Y/N was surprised at the kiss because it was a little different than the last time.  This time his lips moved against hers in a way that caused warmth to spread through her and seemed to be asking for her to open her mouth.  She parted her lips slightly and was startled when his tongue slipped inside her mouth.  She wasn't sure what she was doing but she responded in a way that she thought he wanted and felt his other hand come up to the other side of her face and pull her closer.  She was surprised at the feelings that came up in her and wrapped her arms around his neck, wanting to be closer to him.

He pulled back suddenly and was breathing hard.  He smiled into her eyes then kissed her again.  She held onto him tightly, enjoying kissing him.  He finally broke the kiss and leaned his forehead against hers.

"Don't forget about me, Y/N," he finally spoke softly.  "I don't know how long it will be but I won't forget you. Promise me."

She looked into his eyes, "I promise."