The Distance Between Our Love

Noah.

I took one last look at Vera, walking the opposite direction of the airport. I knew we had spent the last 12 days enjoying each other's company as much as we possibly could, but I never wanted that to end. I never wanted us to end.
It has always been my parents biggest dreams for their son to attend the High State University. It was In between my dreams and my parents. If I left home and had gone to school, I would have to leave behind Vera, but if I had stayed, I'd be with her, forever wishing I had taken the higher careers route. Take the risk or lose the opportunity. I took it. Will I regret it?
When my flight lands, its almost midnight. What do I do now? Where do I go from? Do I just start a new life and completely restart, or do I convince Vera to give long distance a shot? Either way, one things for sure; I wont ever be able to fall out of love.
A void gathers in my chest, missing Veras presence. Even when we weren't together, she was still beside me, every step. Every moment, of every day we were together. If I couldn't last 3 hours without her, how would I last weeks, Months, Years? And yes, visits are always possible, But a flight from California to New York, every weekend? Merely impossible.
I find my way to a white brick building with dark-tinted windows. A recently moderated building, this must be the dorms. I peer my way inside, bag over my shoulder. I manage to make my way up to my dorm; The 19th room on the 5th floor.
I swipe my keycard in the door, then I turn the knob, walking into my new room.
I flip on the light and look around. A small room which splits off into three smaller rooms, two 4 by 4 bedrooms with twin beds, and a bathroom In between them.
" Hello?-" I Look around, looking for any sign of my roommate. Lauren, he was supposed to be here by now.
" Oh! Hey roomie!" A female voice calls out from me, running out from one of the bedrooms.
She.
Lauren wasn't a he.
Lauren was a she.
Who, surprisingly looked a lot like Vera. Or maybe what I just imagined was Vera, stretching my morals by wishing it were Vera Instead. Lauren had darker hair, a dark brown, almost black shade, and instead of the crystal blue eyes, they were vibrant green, like Veras eyes when she looked into the sun.
My cheeks glow red with embarrassment. I still cant believe I was paired up with a roommate that reminded me of my girlfriend, the one I left behind.
" So.. Where are you from??" She checks me out, looking me up and down.
" Oh, I'm from a smaller town in California. You?"
Her eyes light up with shock.
" Wait wait- California??" She bites her lip, questioning me.
" yeah-"
" that's such a far travel!! Wow! Okay- What made you pick here, in New York?!"
" Well- My parents both graduated here, its been their life ambitions to get me to go here- so basically I just wanted to live into their expectations." I Chuckled.
" Ahhhhh! Okay! Got it! I'm Lauren!!" She extended her hand to shake.
" Noah- Pleasures all mine-" the moment I shake her hand she pulls me into a hug, is that a New York thing? Or maybe just a Lauren thing?
" Oh Uh- Lauren.. I'm not really- a hugger?" I lie.
I hate lying.
But a girl who reminds me of the love of my life is my roommate. The love of my life is multiple states away and the closest version of her is here with me. A doppelgänger.
" Sorry about that!! I get excited!!" Her high-pitched voice is like nails on a chalkboard. This late at night, no coffee, I'm tired and my head is pounding, the last thing I need is this friendship happening. Because after all, anything that reminds me of Vera is something to hold close to my heart, another girl? No. I cant do that to Vera. I love her too much to hurt her.
She quickly pulls away, spotting my bag which was still on my shoulder.
" Your rooms the second one-over here-" She points to the room on the right side of the bathroom.
" The one on the other side is mine- I'm going to bed, come and get me if you need anything!" She waves and giggles.
That laugh.
It reminds me of Veras.
High and angelic.
Sweet and melodic.
Adorable.
Wait- no- Not Lauren's laugh, Veras.
I keep catching myself comparing the two. One, the love of my life, which is hours away, probably sleeping. And the other, some girl I just met, who sounds and looks very little like Vera.
Its because I miss her. I miss Vera, but I wont see her, not for another month at-least. Easter is when I'm supposed to fly home. Maybe with enough calls and texts I could make this work? How am I going to hold her close when she's upset? Or bring her something to eat when she hasn't eaten anything else? How am I supposed to hug her to my body at night time, keeping her warm? How will I kiss her goodnight? How could I see her beautiful face when we wake up? How could I live without her? The answer is simple; I have no clue how Im going to get through this, when I cant even get through one day without seeing her head rest on my shoulder. The sad truth is that I got too attached. She's mine to hold, accept now, I'm not there to hold her.
My phone vibrates on the desk, I'm across the room, unpacking my clothes into a wooden material dresser. I walk over, picking it up.
" Hey Babe!" Veras voice greets me on the other end of the call.
" Vera! I Miss you! How are you?!" My heart beams for this moment.
" I'm good-" I can hear her laughing.
" How are you getting settled in? Everything going alright?"
" Yeah- I met my roommate- She's.. a handful. But other than that- the city is so- big!" I respond.
" That's good to hear-" I can hear her smile slowly fading through the phone.
" Vera..?"
" One moment- Ill call you back- I- I just-" She hung up.
I stared at my phone, confused as to what had just happened. Vera just hung up on me. The worry in her voice? What could have possibly triggered it?
My mind starts to wander, until Lauren pops her head into my door.
" Heyyy Noahhhh!" She squeals with excitement, laughing.
Oh god. Here we go again.
" Yes, Lauren? Can I help you??" I groan.
" Who was that?" She pushes the door more, stepping into my room.
" Who was who?"
" that girl- the one you were just on the phone with?!"
" Were you- Listening to my conversation?-"
" Nooooo!" She bursts out laughing.
" Okay! Okay! I was- But in my defense- Well- I don't really have one-" She smiles.
" That was Vera. Now, can I help you?"
" Oooooo! Vera! And who's she??" She raises her eyebrows.
"Well-" Before I can get a word out she interrupts me.
" Some city girl? or no- a girl you met on the flight? or- No- What about- somebody you bumped into on the subway? Does she go to our school?" She rants on and on.
I put my hands on my head, trying contain the rage boiling in my gut. I want to tell her to get out; to leave me alone, but I know she's only trying to be nice. I just cant handle all of this right now.
" My girlfriend, from home." I talk over her.
She turns and stops talking.
" Girlfriend??" She's intrigued now.
I nod.
" Ohhhhh! Of how long? Is she cute?"
" Well-I- No! I'm not having this talk with you."
" Pleaseeeeeee?" She pouts.
" No, I'm tired now, so please, with respect, Get out of my room." I turn, continuing to fold clothes.
I Cant keep looking at her emerald eyes. They aren't Veras. I keep remembering myself.
" She must not be cute then." She snarly says under her breath.
That got my attention.
I turn.
" Excuse me?" My voice sterns.
" You heard me. She must not be cute."
" My girlfriend and my personal life are none of your business. So get out and just please- do me a favor and leave me alone. I don't need your 'Cute girl' comments or your snarky comments either. And for the record- she is absolutely stunning. Now please. Out." I point at the door.
She pouts, dragging her feet as she walked to the door.
" And don't forget to shut the door!" I call out. She walks back, shutting the door.
Finally. Quiet.
Until I remember Veras call, I start to worry again.
'Vera? is everything Alright?' I text vera.
No response, so instead I call her, she answers on the first ring.
She sniffles.
"Vera, are you alright?"
" y-yeah why wouldn't I be?" She says quietly.
" What happened?"
" Nothing- b- but w-we uhm- we need to talk."
Her voice keeps getting distant, as if she's looking away from her phone. I finally recognize it. She's looking up at something every few seconds. Checking to see if somethings there, If somebody's there. But who?
" Go on.."
" I- I- I'm so sorry- But i- I think Its best if we uhm- maybe? Took a little bit- o-of a- Break?" She starts to cry again.
" Break? Are you-?"
" Noah. I'm breaking up with you." She snaps.
" Vera- What happened? We can talk about this?"
With a large crash, the phone call came to an end.
Once again, my door opens.
" Hey Uh- I'm sorry- But I just listened to that phone call- and Uhm- Are you okay?" Lauren isn't as peppy as usual, she's toned it down.
Great. The last thing I need; a reminder of my ex-girlfriend, the love of my life.