The Distance Between Our Love

Vera.

The yelling. The crying. The screaming. The heartbreak. He didn't mean to. I know it wasn't his fault. I was the one resisting. I was the one who needed the lesson. I was the one who was hurt. Sounds familiar.
I shiver sent through me, I Know Noah wouldn't ever lay a hand on me. He isn't Greyson. He isn't Greyson. He isn't Greyson. I keep telling myself the same thing. He isn't Greyson. He is Noah. Sweet, loving, Noah.
I snapped back into reality. He was going on about how I'm always the one to be hurt and forgive. Why does he care so much? I'm the one getting hurt, not him.
Once he had realized his voice had raised I could tell he wanted to take it back, to apologize, to hug me. He didn't. He gathered his belongings and stormed off.
I wanted to chase after him.
I wanted to let him end it all.
I wanted to let him set me free.
I wanted him to lever leave.
Wanted.
I was crying, watching him.
I fell to my feet, sobbing.
I stared at the door, hoping he'd come running back in. Hoping he'd be the knight in shining armor to save me. He didn't.
" P- Please c- come back to me N- Noah." I mumbled to myself, begging the universe to let me have him back. One more time. One more time he could hold me. I'm not ready for this friendship to be over. He's the only person I've ever felt safe with. He's my home.
I held my knees to my chest and imagined he was behind me, holding me. Telling me everything was okay. He wasn't.
He left.
I feel so alone. So drained. Exhausted.
I want to take it all back.
" N- Noah P- Please." I stutter, curled up in the corner of my bedroom, sitting on the floor.
" I- I t..take i-it b-back- I- I- t-take it all back!" He isn't here. He isn't coming back.
. . .
Its been two weeks. Greyson hasn't talked to me, neither has Noah. My mother has been getting worried, she pretends not to notice when I push my plate away. Looking at myself in the mirror, I never knew I could look this way. Skin and bones, as some would say. I was smaller than I had ever been. My skin had turned pale, lack of sleep, lack of food. My bruises are more noticeable, they ache more. My hair is tangled, I don't bother to brush it anymore. When I do, more and more comes out within every stroke.
I sit on the floor, the very place I had sat the night Noah and I had fought. I'm not Angry. I'm not Upset anymore. I just miss him.
I touch my face, stroking my thumb along my cheek, he had also done that. Even my own touch is cold. Noah was the only person in this world with warmth. He was like fire to a frozen heart.
I'm wearing his clothes still, not the ones I was wearing the night we sat on the shower floor, but other clothes that he has kept here for when he stays. Something tells me he doesn't want to stay here anymore after what happened exactly 14 days ago. 14 Days. Not a Call. Not a Text. Seen. Read. Delivered.
I Know if I called him, he'd pick up on the first ring. He always does. He cares too much. Why does he care so much? Why is this so hard?
Somehow I know that he's still here. He's here for me. But if I called him now, he'd know something was wrong. He'd know that I'm still not happy, then he'd come and find me, hold me, bring me a shake, do small things to make an effort in making my day better.
He was just protecting me, Just like he always does.
My phone buzzes, I look over at it, grabbing it, answering it.
''Hello?!'' I hoped with all my heart Noahs voice would greet me on the other end of the line.
'' Somebody's Excited.'' Its Greyson. My heart drops, my tone lowers.
'' Yeah..''
'' So- Tonight. Come over.''
'' I'm not feeling the greatest.'' I lied.
'' I didn't ask. I told you to come over.''
Before I could speak another work the line cut dead. He hung up.
Noah, I don't know where you are right now, or what you are doing, all I know is that I need you.