[M] DO IT FOR THE FANS [YEONBIN]

10. The coffee table

A week passed and things were back to normal for Soobin, with a couple of exceptions.

The first difference that he noticed after his exchange with Yeonjun was that the elder didn't touch him anymore when the camera was off. He would not throw his arms around Soobin after practice, nor would he put his hand on the younger's knee when they were sitting side by side.

Soobin found himself thinking "Oh, gosh, not again...", as he usually did, when he heard Yeonjun's steps behind himself, but feeling very disappointed when the hyung just passed by him.

He kept encountering scenarios where it was obvious to his own mind that he was missing all those things that he complained about to himself, and that made him feel more upset by the day.

The second thing he noticed was Yeonjun staring at him pretty much every time Soobin looked away. The first couple of days, he was too self-aware and kept his guard up when his hyung was around, and stressed out over the possibility that someone would notice him and Yeonjun acting cautious around each other.

But then he started wondering... What if it had always been like that? What if Yeonjun had always stared at him when Soobin looked away? The younger had been very cautious about his feelings not being found it since they met, so it was indeed possible that he had missed a lot of signals, who knows for how long.

If that was the case, this was also clear evidence of how differently the two boys handled their circumstances. While Soobin was cold-headed and made mental preparations for every single possible scenario he could see himself involved in, Yeonjun was way more emotional and sensitive, and his judgment got clouded fairly easily... Even to the point of thinking he didn't want to be an idol anymore, just because he couldn't have a normal dating life...?

What a crybaby, Soobin shook his head thinking of Yeonjun, while removing his own makeup. He put his face towel aside and blankly stared at it for a couple of minutes. But then again... His sensitivity was the reason why I fell for him in the first place. He's like a puppy that can't hold back his excitement and stressed out over every little thing he hasn't felt before.

Every time the younger boy reflected on their situation, he went through the same train of thought.

First, panic. What if someone finds out? What if Yeonjun does something as stupid as telling another member of the group, or the music company's counselor, thinking he can trust them?

Then, anger. I've been doing a huge effort to keep my feelings at bay all this time, why is Yeonjun bringing these things up, even though he knows nothing can come out of it? Ridiculous. Get your shit together, dude.

Sadness. Of course I understand how he feels... I also would like to be there for him at all times and do things like hug and... kiss... so he understands how important he is to me...

But after every time of reflexion, only one feeling still lingered and was clear enough for Soobin to easily put his finger on it, and that was worry.

He worried about Yeonjun doing something stupid, worried about both of them getting in trouble... But mostly, he worried about Yeonjun being unhappy.

Falling in love is something you can't afford to do in this line of work. And on top of that, why did it have to be a man, Yeonjun? I know how difficult it is... And to make things even more complicated, why did it have to be me, who likes you back?

Soobin entered the living room where Taehyung and Beomgyu were playing videogames, Kai was on his phone by the coffee table, and Yeonjun was laying on the couch, also on his phone. He bit his lower lip softly, approached the latter, and sat on the couch, not looking in the other's direction. A couple of seconds passed, and then Yeonjun put his phone in his pocket and left the couch.

Soobin clenched his fists a little bit, but still did not look at his hyung.

Yeonjun got himself a glass of water and joined Kai at the coffee table, which was not a place he usually rested at.

Soobin held back a sigh.

It's okay, he told himself. It'll be fine. Yeonjun will be fine.

He spared a glance and once again caught the elder looking at him.

He'll be fine, Soobin repeated. He will, right?