[M] DO IT FOR THE FANS [YEONBIN]

15. Bad with words

Soobin spent several days making sure he'd figured out his own thoughts.

He was still jolting every time Yeonjun touched him. It didn't matter if the cameras were on or off: against all of Soobin's predictions, being flirted with by his hyung felt natural even in front of everyone. He wondered at what point Yeonjun stopped doing it for the fans and started doing it just for the sake of being close to the younger. After a couple of weeks of staying up late every night just to enjoy each other's company, and seeing the elder look at him with loving eyes every time, Soobin had figured that Yeonjun not only really liked him, but also he had been making deliberate moves on him for quite some time.

But other than coming to understand that, things hadn't really changed between them. The routine stayed the same: Soobin waited for his hyung in the kitchen, they spent some time together and went to their respective rooms.

Other than holding his hand, and kissing it once, Yeonjun hadn't touched him at all since that time in the elder's room. And that was distracting the hell out of Soobin.

Yes, he was still feeling energetic and motivated, but his performance for the last couple of days had been average again, and it was due to the time his mind spent wondering why Yeonjun was not making any moves on him.

Actually, he was still getting praised by his superiors on almost daily basis.

But he felt his performance was not as good as it could be.

And Yeonjun not being more physical was the reason.

And Soobin was definitely not making up excuses.

From time to time, his logic would remind him that if they got caught it could cost them everything they'd worked so hard for.

But then again, he was feeling so motivated at work, and so far there were no signs of what they were doing having a negative impact on their lives, so...

So that night he waited for Yeonjun in the kitchen, as usual. When the other appeared, wearing a smile even after the extra hours on top of their already extremely demanding training, Soobin barely looked him in the eye.

"Hey... Good work today, too", Yeonjun smiled, running his fingers through the younger's hair while he kneeled down by his side.

Soobin sighed and rested his face on the coffee table, the same one they sat at every night. The elder reached out and caressed his head again, gentle eyes going from Soobin's face to his own phone, with which he kept playing while stroking the younger's hair.

"Are you getting what you wanted?", the latter suddenly said in a bitter tone.

Yeonjun raised his gaze from his phone and smiled before asking in the softest of voices:

"What?"

"Whatever it was you wanted when you decided to confess to me, did you get it?"

"I... I suppose? You like me back, so..."

"And that's it? You just wanted to know that your feelings were reciprocated?"

Yeonjun's smile disappeared from his face and he frowned a little.

"Soobin, what's wrong?"

"I'm just asking", the younger said, brushing off his hyung's hand, that had moved from his hair to his shoulder. "I told you it's impossible to have a real relationship, but you're still happy with just whatever it is we're doing now?"

His voice was full of frustration, and he was pretty sure Yeonjun noticed it.

"Why are you so upset all of a sudden? Did I do something?", the elder asked with raised eyebrows, his voice as sweet as ever.

Soobin had been planning this conversation for several days now, and in reality he was failing at delivering every single thought to Yeonjun. On top of that, the only way he could find to try and tell the other how he felt was to guilt him into the conversation... And it worked, because Yeonjun was very caring.

"How is this", Soobin insisted, pointing at himself and then at the other repeatedly, "different to how things were before? We're going through the risk of being found out, for what? A cup of tea every night?"

"D-do you want us to stop...?", it was easy to tell Yeonjun was extremely confused and just trying his best to make the younger feel better.

"You're the one that couldn't just swallow his feelings and had to bring this entire thing to the light, so at least do it right."

Yeonjun slowly shook his head, his mouth slightly open at the loss of words.

Frustrated at his own behavior, Soobin extended his arm and pushed the other by the shoulder. Yeonjun didn't lose his balance but grabbed him by the wrist.

"What the--"

"Just take me to your room, will you?!", Soobin whisper-yelled.

A few seconds of silence passed while Yeonjun processed the words he'd just heard.

"Wait... What?"