[M] DO IT FOR THE FANS [YEONBIN]

7. I am, too

Soobin avoided Yeonjun's eyes for the rest of the shooting, and when that was over he stood by the door. His fists were clenched inside his pockets, but he could not afford to look angry or violent in front of the rest of the crew.

On the bright side, he didn't need to insist on what he had said, since Yeonjun approached him on his own accord.

"Shall we go?", the elder said in a calm voice. Soobin bit his lip out of anger, incapable of looking in the other's direction. He felt like he was going to cry if their eyes met.

Without answering, the younger turned around, left the room and started walking down the hallway. Yeonjun followed him from the distance, his steps soft but measured.

They entered the music room, and although Soobin was still facing the other way and hadn't said anything, the elder whispered "I guess I should close the door, huh?", and did.

Finally, after many seconds of silence, Soobin turned around and looked his hyung in the eye.

"WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?!"

"What was what?", Yeonjun answered immediately, as if he had been expecting that exact same question. Soobin was trembling in anger and bit his lip in an attempt to calm himself down, but he was incapable of letting it go to speak. "I didn't do anything that I haven't done before", insisted the elder.

"Why are you doing this?!", was what Soobin managed to articulate before biting his lip again. His voice quavered a little bit.

Yeonjun's expression softened.

"Okay, you know what?" He said, suddenly showing his palms in the air. "I'll say it." He moved several steps forward. "I'm sorry."

"You're not. You only care about yourself and what the fans think."

"What are you talking about? I'm telling you I'm sorry. I didn't know what else to do."

"For what? Embarrassing me in front of everyone? In front of the director?" Soobin was not yelling anymore, but instead his entire body intensified its trembling, including his lips and voice.

Yeonjun clicked his tongue and rolled his eyes.

"Don't be ridiculous."

"Am I, though?!" Soobin raised his voice, taking a step forward, hands still trembling. The other's expression was that of genuine surprise. "I suppose you're not trying to push me down?!"

"Push you...?" It took Yeonjun a second to realize what the younger was talking about. He took a deep breath and exhaled through, sneering in apparent disbelief, one eyebrow raised. "Is that what you think? You think I'm trying to step on you?"

"That's the only explanation", Soobin answered quickly, his voice breaking after every word. "You come out of nowhere saying you're gay, and we both know that's total bullshit. Still, I'm stupid enough to confess to you that I am. And now you're using it against me?"

It was his first time ever being this agitated and stressed out.

But there was a new feeling to all of this, something that he had never felt before. He regretted telling Yeonjun the truth about his own sexuality, he was worried sick about how this would affect his career, and he was upset at embarrassing himself in such a way that day in front of the entire crew. So many questions were going to arise inside the company after what happened.

But more than anything, he was sad.

He used to think Yeonjun was the kindest person he had met, and that he was his friend. Soobin had relied on him unconditionally, and his hyung was one of the main reasons why he could overcome stress at work, feeling that someone had his back at all times.