[M] DO IT FOR THE FANS [YEONBIN]

13. Audible smiles

Unlike the last time Soobin kissed Yeonjun, this time he wasn't worried about the other's reaction, so his movements were confident and firm.

Yeonjun stopped crying immediately, and after some time his heartbeat and breathing were back to a more normal pace.

The kiss tasted like tears, but it was impossible to know who they belonged to.

The hyung made a twisting motion to free his wrists from Soobin's grab, and took the younger's face between his palms to deepen the kiss.

Now, it tasted like heaven.

Without breaking the contact, Yeonjun stood up from the chair and climbed onto the bed, first positioning a knee over the border so Soobin, who was sitting there, had to lean back until lying down on the blanket, with his hyung on top.

Yeonjun softly pulled away from the kiss and lowered his head until their foreheads were touching. He caressed Soobin's face firmly, almost like making sure he was really there. The younger grabbed the other's shirt by the short sleeves, and remained there panting with his eyes closed.

"Why is it that every time you kiss me there's crying involved?", Yeonjun said in a whisper that was so soft it was almost inaudible.

"Sorry", Soobin simply said, slowly opening his eyes to meet Yeonjun's.

They stayed like that for what seemed to be the longest of times, just staring at each other, mouths slightly open in confusion, the hyung's hair tickling the younger's face.

Even in that moment, in the dark, covered in sweat, with his brown eyes and plump lips swollen from crying so much, Yeonjun was the most beautiful thing Soobin had ever seen.

Without thinking, the younger brought one hand to the other's cheek and caressed it, intensely staring at his facial features.

Yeonjun let out a sigh, closed his eyes and pressed his head against Soobin's palm.

Time had stopped for both of them.

"I'm sorry I didn't stand up for you", Soobin whispered.

"It's alright now", Yeonjun answered. He was not smiling, but his expression was so soft that one could tell he meant it.

The elder relaxed his arms until they were not supporting him anymore, and rested his face on top of Soobin's chest, who became aware of his own heartbeat.

"Yeonjun?"

"Mh?"

"I'm sorry I dragged you into this."

The hyung lifted his body and looked at Soobin with a confused expression. Since the latter was too embarrassed to keep talking, Yeonjun had to put two and two together all by himself. When he did, he let out a soft yet genuine chuckle.

"Do you think you turned me gay?"

Soobin blushed at how ridiculous the idea sounded when said out loud but didn't deny it, which Yeonjun found even more amusing.

"I thought maybe... Maybe I unconsciously did things to get your attention, like sending you signals... I don't know", the younger stuttered, looking away in embarrassment.

Yeonjun's chuckle faded slowly until only an ever so gentle smile was left. He exhaled through his nose and rolled his body so he was now sitting on the bed next to Soobin, who remained lying face up.

"Actually, I've been thinking about it a lot, too... Y'know, since I had never fallen for a guy before, and well... given the circumstances", his eyes traveled aimlessly around the room, and his voice was so calm it was like by circumstances he meant a minor inconvenience. "I guess I have been attracted to other guys but I never payed enough attention to it as to actually ask myself if I was bisexual?", he wondered out loud.

That's not the problem here..., Soobin laughed sarcastically to himself, but didn't say anything.

"But then there was you. And how smart you are, and how seriously you take everything, and how much you care for others... And how much of a panicked gay you are--", Yeonjun smiled, and immediately blocked with his hand the elbow that Soobin tried to use to strike him.

"Fuck you!"

Yeonjun laughed out loud and turned his head to look the younger in the eye.

"I would've fallen in love with you even if you hadn't liked me back."

Soobin's heart skipped several beats, and his brain got stuck replaying the words he'd just heard.

There was a moment of silence, and seeing that he wouldn't get an answer from Soobin, the elder continued:

"Aren't you gonna run away again?", this time his tone was a little bit sour.

"I feel like I should, to be honest", Soobin replied, and there was nothing but sincerity to his words. He was not second-guessing Yeonjun's actions, nor was he upset at him for downplaying the circumstances. He was simply speaking out his mind, being himself, being scared.

But because it was right then and there, he could be honest to both Yeonjun and himself about it.

"I thought so," the elder smiled, leaned over and kissed Soobin on the cheek. "Thank you for waiting for me."

The younger's heart was beating a million miles per second, but he felt so light he didn't even realize he had left the bed until he already had his hand on the exit's doorknob.

"I--!!", Soobin suddenly said as if he had remembered something, startling Yeonjun. "I'll wait for you after your extra hours of training...", he added without looking at his hyung.

"Okay", Yeonjun simply answered, and Soobin could hear his smile through the softness of his voice.

He dragged his feet across the hallway as if in a dream, and after entering his room he laid face down on the bed, his mind feeling like pink foam and silk and puffy clouds.

As he fell asleep, he heard the soft murmur of the tiny bit of logical sense his brain managed to process:

"What the fuck did just happen?"