[M] DO IT FOR THE FANS [YEONBIN]

17. Bad day

"Why is Soobin so mad at Yeonjun?", Huening Kai asked Taehyun.

"I don't know, but he is more irritable than usual, isn't he?"

Soobin cleared his throat to let the others know that he could hear them, and the boys jolted and laughed, embarrassed.

"Sorry, hyung."

"I'm just tired", Soobin said as to answer the questions the others had put out there before they noticed him.

"Yeah, you do look tired. And you hadn't made these many mistakes during practice in a while", said Taehyun.

"Well, it was about time! You had been nailing it lately, hyung. I was feeling a lot of pressure to not make mistakes myself, since you made none! I'm glad to know you're still human", Huening Kai added as both a compliment and a way to comfort him over his poor performance that day.

"Thanks, I guess."

"It's totally fine, Soobinie~! You're just having a bad day~", said someone that had just entered the dressing room, and the hair stood up on the back of Soobin's neck when he recognized Yeonjun's voice, for the millionth time that day.

The younger growled in annoyance.

"I can cheer you up with kisses", Kai said, and everybody (but Soobin, of course) laughed because he was just adding to the endless series of similar jokes that Yeonjun had been throwing at Soobin, which had caused him to be as irritated as Taehyun mentioned he was.

"Will you guys get off my back already?", the leader mumbled.

"Yeah, Kai! He's got enough with me. Thanks for offering to help, though", Yeonjun laughed, and the maknae gave him a thumbs up jokingly.

"Assholes."

Soobin rolled his eyes, grabbed his phone and headed to the showers. The others would probably do the same after chatting for a while. Not Yeonjun, though, because he'd have a 1-hour break and then continue with his extra hours of training.

I wish I could keep him company, he thought, and considered the possibility of asking their manager if he could do some extra hours as well, but he was way too physically tired already and it'd probably be counter-productive for his health and his performance. I'm not the athletical one, Yeonjun is, he thought, and he immediately had to shake off some images that came to mind.

The day before, he thought he had his thoughts finally figured out.

The moment he decided to go at Yeonjun, he decided to take his chances.

After the previous night he was feeling insecure again, but there was not going back at making decisions with a clear mind. It took him quite a long time to realize, but he had changed the day Yeonjun confessed to him.

Not the first time the elder hinted it in the kitchen: that first time, Soobin could brush it off as the other being confused or not taking things seriously. Also not the time when the younger kissed his hyung and the latter didn't refuse: maybe he was just being annoyingly curious.

But the time Yeonjun forced Soobin to follow him into his own room, looked him in the eye and told him that he liked him romantically, even though Soobin kept a cold head at the moment, his own behavior changed. Constantly keeping an eye on Yeonjun, getting annoyed by literally anyone else touching him, and asking himself if the elder was going to be okay with the circumstances as they were... Even now, Soobin was wondering if he was doing it for the the other's sake, or for his own.

After all, he had been in love with Yeonjun for years, every day pondering the fantasies, the possibilities, his own feelings against his career priorities...

It was way easier when he couldn't even imagine Yeonjun being romantically interested in him. But when that changed, it became almost impossible to keep his mind away from the idea of being closer to the other, open to someone about his real feelings, thoughts and sexual orientation, and maybe even... Well, he was in his early twenties and, mostly because he'd always known he was gay and because he became a trainee when he was sixteen, he'd never had the time for dating or... anything else.

Dammit, Yeonjun. Why the hell did you have to like me back?, he wondered yet again. Soobin had been repeating that to himself at least once per hour since the time Yeonjun told him if he was confident he'd have confessed a long time ago.

Still, even if the possibility of being together with his hyung was there, it would've been easy to ignore and keep his imagination at bay if only Soobin wasn't so... happy.

He never imagined having the person you like, like you back could feel this good, but he was waking up with a smile on his face every morning, even if he tried to fight it, and even if the schedule for that day was tough. He had a clear conscience even when he was the target of Yeonjun's flirtation: no more feeling guilty over what his hyung would think if he found out Soobin was actually gay. And he could also experience all these new sensations related to being with the person you love, like... kissing... and... holding hands...

And desperately needing him to touch me and trying to lift up his shirt as soon as I manage to get my hands on him.

Soobin had indeed decided to take his chances on that. If they hadn't been caught get, they could as well just... try. Do a little bit more than they were already doing... Right?

Still, the way Yeonjun told him that he too was attracted to him in that sense had been an asshole move and had Soobin completely flustered and incapable of focusing during their training that day. He was so upset, he considered not waiting for Yeonjun that evening. That'd teach him not to be a jerk, he thought.

The problem being, by the time Soobin came up with that idea, he was already sitting at the coffee table in the kitchen, waiting for Yeonjun.

"I knew bunny would be waiting for me, even though he's angry at me", his hyung smiled as soon as he saw him, and Soobin snorted. Yeonjun chuckled and approached him, but didn't sit down. "Actually, thank you so much for waiting for me but I don't feel like staying up 'til late today."

The younger raised his eyebrows, confused.

"I mean, I'd love to stay, but we have an interview early in the morning, and the day after tomorrow we're free, so... I kinda feel more like having a proper rest today and bringing you to my room tomorrow. Watcha say?"