Our Desire (Alec Lightwood)

Do you still love me?

Raphael POV

"Kiana" I answered as I picked up my phone, that's when I heard her heartbroken voice it sounded like she had been crying "I need you, I need you as my friend that you once were" she said shakily "Always amore" I desperately said concerned of what had happened to her "I'll be at the fountain" she said softly then hung up the phone.

We always used to sit by the fountain when we wanted to be alone and away from everyone else. It is not like it is hidden or a secret but it always just made us feel normal to sit at the bench with the fountain in front of us.

I arrived at the fountain and looked around. I didn't see her yet, I lent against the fountain looking into the water.

I heard her footsteps before her soft voice "Raph" I turned slowly to look at her she leapt into my arms and hugged me tight a feeling I haven't felt in a while travelled through my body making me shiver slightly I stroked the back of her head and held her tight I never wanted her to let go.

She moved away from me slowly I could see her tear stained cheeks and puffy eyes "what happened my love" I asked her she sat herself on the edge of the fountain "they want him to marry" she said looking at the ground "Alec?" I said in a questioning tone but I knew she was talking about him "I'll lose my parabiti Raph, once he marries he won't need me anymore" she sadly said a small tear rolling down her cheek.

I took her hand and brought us both to the bench "do you love him" I asked her not making eye contact, it was definitely a question I didn't want the answer too but I had to know "yes" "no" "not like that, I don't know" she said all together fast she looked at me and I just smiled at her "he's my parabiti, we grew up together of course I love him, it's confusing" I shook my head at her and my smile grew more in this moment I felt like everything was perfect I mean the topic isn't exactly what I'd like it to be but just being here with her felt right.

I love her, she's touched my heart in a way no one has done for as long as I've been alive.

"Can I ask you something?" I asked softly, taking her hand in mine again holding it on my knee "yeah" she looked at me and smiled "do you still love me?" I ask if I was a mundane my heart would have beaten straight out of my chest.

She looked at me for what felt like forever then took her hand away from mine, my face saddened and I looked to the ground but she took her hand and placed it on my cheek lifting my face to look at her again "Raphael" she paused "Raph" she smiled "I love you, I never stopped loving you I just learned to live without your love" she took her hand away and stood up, she walked back to the fountain in front of us and splashed the water.

I walked to her side "Kiana" I said softly but she cut me off "you hurt me, in fact you destroyed me Raph, I wanted you forever I wanted us forever I loved you like I'd never loved anyone before, but you and Camille that broke me, I thought you loved me" she said not looking at me I knew there were tears in her eyes she not as tough as she makes out.

"I did love you, I do love you. She had me convinced that our love wasn't real she used the fact you were a shadowhunter and I was a Downworlder to get into my mind I was helpless against her, if I could take it all back to have you in my arms again I would in less than a heartbeat" I said sounding like I was pleading with her.

"She still controls your life Raph" she said looking at me finally her eyes once again puffy and red "I know you can't do anything about it Raph I know she's the vampire clans leader I get it, I just wish it could have been different" she said softly almost ending on a whisper.

My body was feeling thousands of emotions if that was even possible but there was only one thing I wanted in that moment, one thing I needed.

I turned her to face me and pulled her closer. Her face was inches from mine. I could feel her warm breath on my lips. Her breathing became heavier and she whispered my name almost like a question. I placed my hand on her cheek and closed the never ending gap between our lips.

I held her as close as I could not breaking the kiss once her hands moved to my suit jacket and she held tight pulling me closer to her. I wanted her, I wanted her desperately I wanted to feel her but most of all I wanted her love, her warmth.

She took her lips from mine not breaking eye contact, I smiled and tucked a piece of hair behind her ears "the love I have for you it's indescribable, Kiana you are the only woman I think of. I know we can't go back to the way we were and things are as complicated as ever but you, us here right now feels more right than anything"

She didn't say anything, she just stood in front of me and never broke eye contact.

Kiana put her hand on my cheek and brought her lips to mine again but softly this time we kissed again but this was slow and filled with passion.

The moment was cut short by the dull tone of her phone ringing she broke off the kiss and reached into her jacket pocket and pulled the phone out I saw her eyes roll when she read the name but I couldn't see who it was before she put the phone to her ear "yes" she answered with a slight attitude I raised my eyebrow at her and smirked.

"Do you have any idea how worried I felt when I came to your room and you were gone, where the hell are you" I heard the voice shout down the phone I knew straight away who it was " I needed some air" she said rolling her eyes once again "so we're exactly are you" he said in a demanding tone I hate the way he talks to her like that "standing next to a fountain at the park Alec, I can go where I want too when I want too" there was definitely attitude in her voice now he said something else but I was too in my thoughts to hear what it was " fine, I'll be there soon" she muttered and hung up the phone .

"Does he always talk to you like that?" I asked with a smirk she smiled back at me "I have to go, shadowhunter drama" she said waving her hand in the direction of the institute.

"I get it, duty calls. Just stay safe don't get yourself hurt again" I said in a concerned tone "you heard" she ask tilting her head to the side "that you almost died, yeah I heard and not from you" she smiled at me again "well at least I'm alive think of the positive" I laughed and she giggled slightly "I really have to go before I get shouted at some more" she said still giggling slightly "here" I said to her taking off my suit jacket "it's freezing and a long walk back to the institute" she took the jacket from my hands and placed her arms in to it. It was quite big on her; she only had a small frame. She smiled satisfied once she had it on.

"Goodbye Raphael" She said and started to walk off "Kiana" I shouted and she turned around her hair whipping round "yeah" she said softly "I expect a visit" she scoffed while smiling and continued to walk off "I'll take it as a yes" I shouted after her she turned and winked.

I let out a deep breath and smiled before making my way back to the hotel to see what Camille has waiting for me.

You might be seeing a few more Raphael and Kiana scenes as the book goes on. Especially with Alec's big wedding coming up in a few chapters.

Enjoy

Love A.xxx