𝗕𝗲𝘁𝗿𝗮𝘆𝗲𝗱 || 𝗔𝗻𝗮𝗸𝗶𝗻 𝗦𝗸𝘆𝘄𝗮𝗹𝗸𝗲𝗿 𝘅 𝗥𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗲𝗿

Hayden's Pain

NON-CANON CHAPTER
I REPEAT: NON-CANON CHAPTER
TW:Angst
(This extremely depressing idea came in my mind for some reason. So to get it out of my head, I'm writing it. But of course it is not a part of my story. I would never do something like this to you 😂 I am sorry in advance though.)

Hayden's POV(Age: 17)
"Get away from me." I glared at my ten year old brother, Kylo.

He eyed me sadly and walked away as I sat on the couch in the now empty living room. I didn't care how he felt, he hurt me worse than anyone.

He killed my mother during child birth.

Not a day goes by where I don't think of her and miss her. My father has never been the same either. He stays in the garden most of the time or up in his room. It's been ten years and I can still hear him cry himself to sleep every night.

And it's all that little brats fault. How can I be expected to love him when he took away the most important person in my life. The woman who held me every night as she hummed me to sleep. The woman who kissed my scraped knee. The woman who tended to my broken arm that day I decided to jump off the roof, in my defense, I thought I was strong enough to force catch myself.

Ewan, Rosie, and Aurora were too young to even remember her properly, so it's just me who holds all the pain for them.

"Hayden," I heard the sound of my fathers voice from behind me. I didn't turn to him, but I felt him walk around the couch and sit next to me, "You can't keep blaming him." He spoke softly as I felt his hand touch my arm.

I snorted through my nose, "How can I not?" I looked to him with tears in my eyes, "She'd be here if it wasn't for him."

He sighed, "Hayden, listen I know you miss her. I miss her too. So much," He dropped his hand and wiped one of his tears away, "But she wouldn't want this, she loved each of you with all her heart."

I dropped my head down, I don't know if there's anything anyone can say to make me accept him. I hated him.

"Son I'm going to need you to calm down." My fathers voice broke me out of emotions and there was a loud crash. I jumped and looked around the room to see it was a disaster. I had lifted up multiple pieces of furniture in the room without realizing it.

I blinked rapidly as I stood up and eyed the damage, "I-I'm so sorry I didn't mean to." I began to panic, this is what she always tried warning me about. This is what they both warned me about.

My father stood up and grabbed ahold of my shoulders, "Look at me," He stated sternly and I did as he said, "It was an accident, I'm not mad. But you need to control yourself better, you know how powerful you are. You would never forgive yourself if you accidentally hurt someone, especially your siblings."

I nodded, "I know I-I'm going to go mediate outside." I pushed his grip off of me and left the house to sit in the garden, which was my mom's favorite place. I just needed to be alone.

I sat on the floor and took a deep breath as I closed my eyes.

I miss you so much mom.

"I'm right here my baby."

My eyes snapped open when I heard the soft voice that I'd been dying to hear for the past ten years. My eyes widened when I saw her, standing in front of me; just as beautiful as I remember, surrounded by a blue light.

I was so confused. Was I going insane; Am I hallucinating?

She chuckled as she walked towards me, "No you're not hallucinating, I just came to talk to you." She knelt down in front of me and I held back tears. I've learned about force ghosts from uncle Kenobi, but I never thought I'd see one. Especially her, after all this time.

I shook my head, "I can't believe you're actually here." I started crying as I reached out to her, but I pulled away, fearing that she would fade.

"My baby, I'm always with you," She smiled sadly, "I love all my children. But you Hayden, you have always been a part of my soul. My first born, you have no idea how special you are to me." She reached out to me and I felt her hand on my cheek.

I started crying more, why can't she be alive? "If you've been here all this time, why am I barely seeing you now?"

She sighed, "I knew it'd be too hard on you and the others, especially your father. It's better to move on. We will see each other again in the afterlife. I'm waiting here for all of you, but only when it's your time." She dropped her hand down and stood up.

I stood up as well, fearing she was about to leave, "Dad isn't okay mom, he needs you. We all need you." I begged her to stay, even if she is like this. I just want my mom back.

She shook her head, "No you don't. You're going to be okay and please don't blame Kylo, it isn't his fault. I wanted him just as badly as I wanted you and I have no regrets. He needs to feel loved, you need to let him know that it isn't his fault."

I was wrong when I said that there isn't anything anyone could say to make me accept Kylo. I guess I just never expected it to be my mom who said it to me. Now I feel bad for how I treated him, I may be sad that I don't have my mom. But I could only imagine how I'd feel if everyone accused me of being her killer, he loves her too, "I-"

"(y/n)?" I turned around to see my father standing in the doorway, looking at my mother. I could feel everything he was feeling right now, he was full of so many emotions.

She smiled at him, "Anakin Skywalker," She eyed him up and down, "Not bad for a forty year old." She chuckled.

He stepped out and kept his eyes on her, "Can I?" He reached his hand out to her, "Would I be able to?" He asked. Even though I couldn't see his face, I knew he was crying.

"Come find out Ani." She smirked and I watched as he slowly pressed his lips to hers. My heart hurt for them, the love they have was enough to cross the barriers between life and death.

"I miss you so much," He cried when he pulled away from her, "Not a day goes by where I don't think of you. Not a second goes by where I don't wish you were here with me." He was crying worse than I have ever seen him, now I see why she kept her distance. I knew this whole thing broke him, but this is the first time I truly saw how broken he was.

She smiled her beautiful smile, "I'm always here, you really need to get out of your room more by the way." She chuckled softly, "I have to go, take care of our babies Ani." She stepped away from him and I heard a whimper escape his lips as he reached out to her once more. He was praying she wouldn't leave, just as I was.

"I love you." He responded softly through his tears and sniffles.

"I love you too Angel face," She turned her gaze to me, "And I love you my baby."

I wiped the tears from my eyes, "I love you too Mom." She gave us each one last smile before disappearing.

My dad stood there for a moment, looking in the direction of where she once stood. He quietly turned to me with tear stained cheeks, "Come on, let's go inside." He grabbed my shoulders and led me in, "Have I ever told you the story about the day you were born where you were kidnapped and your mother and I tried to kill each other?" He spoke nonchalantly like he didn't just say the crazy thing that he just said.

"What?!"

(a/n don't ask why my mind went to this sad place but I thought I'd write it out and it even made me want to cry lol. But yeah ONCE AGAIN this is not a real chapter, just me getting something off of my mind.)