My Poems (more like rants but...)

The Note part 1

*okay so.... if you haven't read the last chapter.... read it! Okay... now that we are all catched up.... HELLO! so this is a blurb from my note... ummm skip if u want... and um... remember that at the end there is a joke and (for this chapter) something else to make you laugh or smile or grin or some sign of life!*

Hi! If you found this that means that I am either dead or you searched my room/iPad. Though at this time the dead sounds more like me. Also I have no idea who is reading this so I want to tell you to leave if I am not dead or if I am dead and you are not immediate family, if cannot find my immediate family, go to the police right now.

any body that I trust can read this (includes police people (I am reading this in the future and am thinking that the police just don't care about a random suicide)Try reading this slowly if I am dead. Spread it out. Read a little everyday. I made it kinda long for that.

Sooooo hi. If you followed the instructions than hi police or desk lady or family if you did not, which is more likely, hi.

*okay I cut out a bunch of stuff I can't share just yet*

I think the only reason I have not done it yet is because I am afraid to die. When I ask people what they believe they say something nice and I agree there. Truthfully though I think death is just nothing. You know.... when you wake up from sleeping and have no idea when you went to sleep, how long and what you were dreaming about. I think that death is like that but without the waking up. Now, I do not want that. But I fear that one day I will wake up a think that is a better life. Right now I am focusing on one part of my life that never moves that is for sure. My brother, no matter what, he is my brother he loves me and I love him more. So when no one is looking at night I grab a book and put my phone hidden in it. I look at pictures of him smiling and it makes me cry. Not of sadness but of joy. I have to hold on. That is what I will do. Hopefully one day I wake up and either I believe that death is endless torture (so I do not want to die) or life stops being one. (Future Sofia: I am dramatic in the past but hey this is where I put feelings and feelings are dramatic (future, future Sofia, wow past future Sofia is a physiatrist. Why didn't she tell me🙄(if you cant see the emoji there is a sarcastic one).)(okay future future future Sofia I just saw this when rereading this again, i am on page 9, trying to talk myself out of death sooooo if I do die....., well I just saw this miny conversation with me, myself and I (haha) and thought it was only polite to add so.... HELLO!) you know that I need to say hi too!)

This is a super long note. I know, and I will probably add more. But like I said above, writing it down makes me notice it is real life. But the main message I want to share is I love all of you nomatter what happened before. I love you. I know exactly what you wanted to say before tooo. I know you probably loved me to (some just as a friend). Do not blame yourself if I did do it. And please move past it. Forget about me. Cry if you want, or smash a vase, or scream in your pillow. I have done it all( and they work for a while, but later you have to remember to forgive yourself and do not end up like me. For me never end up like me (future future Sofia, I know I am dead and have no reason to ask anything of you, but please). I forgive you for anything and everything. If this was paper I would be soaked (in tears). But whenever you feel yourself crumble tell yourself no. At least for me. Thank you

*that is a snippet of my note/diary*

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Ktdf2KQ58c

This is just some actual poetry... I like it... felt the need to put it...

Here is a funny video. Literally, u can not, not laugh during this video!!!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?app=desktop&v=cJyNV8jJ-aA

It's just... too much!

Knock! Knock!

Who's there?
Control Freak.
Con...
OK, now you say, "Control Freak who?"

A woman in labor suddenly shouted, "Shouldn't! Wouldn't! Couldn't! Didn't! Can't!"

"Don't worry," said the doc. "Those are just contractions." 

You get two bc I think U deserve it. Also can u see these emojis 😄😌😝😊 or not?

Also if you want to leave behind a joke or a riddle or a confusing thought leave it here

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Also give me ideas of what my next poem thing should be about! Thank u!

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