*hope u like*
I used to be able to close my eyes and see millions of futures. A mom? A teacher? A writer? A photographer? An interpreter?
I used to be able to imagine myself living. Imagine myself getting a job, graduating, my first pet.
I can't now. I close my eyes and think about what my life will be like in a year. And all I see is nothing. I don't see a million possible anymore.
There is only 1 and I am trying to ignore it so much to see if I can have a future.
It didn't use to be like this. Close your eyes. Think what u want. It might be a job or a puppy or a boyfriend/girlfriend... But you can see it right? You can see an uncertain ever-changing dream!
I can't. No... I see something but that something wouldn't give me a future.
I can see my brain giving up. The thoughts that I try to control just continue popping up stronger than ever.
Is homework due tomorrow?
Who cares it's not like u will be there when it matters.
You are alone just go check the cabinet maybe you can find something to make the future disappear.
No one's home look at you! You fat pig! Did you see what you are? The toilet is free just undo that fat!
Every come back I make, my brain has a solution.
The lies stack on each other. I already have a B... Who cares if I get a C...
No need to study by then...
The temptation of knowing my future... Knowing when it ends... I want that! But I can't.
The scars on my arms and the bruises on my fat body show I can stand them. If I lived this far why not make the pain of living last longer. I deserve it
I deserve every hit, every punch, every slap, every nasty comment. They treat me how I treat me. Do they know? Do they know that I threw away my lunch? Do they know I didn't make myself breakfast?
The future... The past scenes are so much more present. All the mistakes all the scars play over and over. They fuel me, to live, to die.
I want a future. I want to know. Know what? What future? I have no idea! And I wish I am here long enough to find out.
(hey peeps! Tell me what u want in life? Could be something small or big doesn't matter!)
Joke is...
Why does a graveyard have a fence?
Bc ppl are dying to get in!
Jokes go here
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Corrections and suggestions or always welcome!!
YOU ARE READING
My Poems (more like rants but...)
PoetryUm... don't read... ig... if u want too you can read... but it's just me screaming at the world and stuff... so yeAh... I am bad at these summaries (also like if u want to talk u can pm me... no matter how small the problem is (or if there is none a...
