My Poems (more like rants but...)

Stages of death

*trigger warning. Sûicide* I wrote this when I was committing pretty much...

The stages of death. I'm sorry in advance.

Sunshine, the glass is half full. This is the beggining. Every end has to have one. Where your biggest worry is a test, or friends. Where you can fool yourself into believing that you can control your thoughts, that u can control me. And then... one day it's all proved false. Easy as that. One day. All the belifs you had. That life will start one day. That you can make it 4 more years. That things will get better eventually. "That's to long. I can't wait." The time when seconds become minutes and minutes become hours. And then. The soulution comes up. "Die" but you know it's wrong. That it won't fix anything. That it's a dumb idea coming from a dumb girl. So you push it away and try to get back to how life was before.

Organized.  The thought took over. "Die die die die" but you think you can take control. That you can control death itself. So you write a little note. You set the date. You put things in place for when you can be there. And try to live, life. But your weak. You tell yourself it's not a good time to do it. That you will wait. So you do. You live life and I stay waiting. Waiting.
Resolution. You start thinking your smart. That you can stop me! That you can kill me and not you! You stray off your plan. But I have mine in place. I know this is a phase. You start acting like a therepist. You write your feelings, you express yourself, you let yourself feel... and that is where you messed up.

Right back at it! You knew that living life not knowing is worse then ending it sooner but knowing. You set the date. An actual one. One with numbers. The time, the music. Everything. You are happy. Knowing you will die. You walk the hall at school modestly but you know your better. Your leaving. They won't remember you but you know a secret they don't. You know something. You have power.

Yogurt... I can't think of anything and I'm tiered. So the only word that starts with a y is Yogurt. Give me a second and I'll make it make sence. Yogurt is the step down from ice cream. It's what u eat when on a diet. Stepping down from home plate. Surrendering yourself to me! Letting the thought take over you. I wrap around you taking everything with me. All your hope. Nothing. I make you turn on the car and close the garage door. I make u sit there. Breathing it all in. And then I let you fall asleep.

Sunshine,
Organized,
Resolution,
Right back at it,
Yogurt.

Sorry.

*I have noticed that my writing has only been about jumping off a building lately... I want to change that! So... anybody can give me some prompts? Happy prompts or sad ones? Things that u can relate too?