Smile | Suicidal Todoroki x Kaminari

Prologue

Even when I want to disappear,
There is always someone right here.
The days when I can't get out of bed
Remind me I'm better off dead.
I toss and turn around in my sleep.
My dreams of dying I can't keep.

How much it hurts, I'll never say.
I'll simply throw my emotions away.
Each and every smile I wear
Adds to my heart a self-inflicted tear.
For each and every time I cry,
"Everything's okay," but that's just a lie.

You could never understand
When you force-feed me your every demand.
Maybe I'm a little sick.
Whether I live or die, it's yours to pick.
And those lies you always tell?
Well, they hurt, yes, they hurt like all hell...

You treat me like a lifeless doll.
Release my strings to end it all.
I am conscious but not awake.
This doll you know is just a fake.
I have emotions and a heart.
They're what I wish to tear apart.

I'm surfeited with the life I'm living
Due to the human in me you've been sieving.
To this sick agony were you the key.
I don't want to be what defines me as "me."
Your words are a poison inside my veins.
I cut through my flesh, but the poison remains.

Does it please you to know I'm in pain?
Every word you say leaves a scarlet stain.
Is it funny to watch me break down?
Submerged in your lies, I just couldn't drown.
However, there is something that you missed:
You also felt it when I slit my wrist.

If you want me to die so damn much,
Why have you not yet killed me with your touch?
Hurt me, but I won't retaliate.
Is it not each other that we both hate?
Please kill me—end this—I'm begging you.
Do you not see all the blood you drew?

You're sad, you're sad, I know, I know.
Together, together, we'll go, we'll go.
It hurts to live, indeed, indeed.
Together, together, for death we'll plead.
Alone, alone, there's only one.
One body, one mind, one holding the gun.

If thoughts are bullets, then that's what you are.
I need only one to shatter this empty jar.
My hand on the trigger, three days to kill.
Bang, bang, bang, and one by one, they've all fallen still.
Muzzle at my temple, I still wonder...
Will you hate me so and pull my plans asunder?