Smile | Suicidal Todoroki x Kaminari

20 | "You"

Warning:
I will be marking where the gore scenes begin and end with [⚠️]. For my standards, it's not that gruesome, but that's just my opinion.

This story is not intended to promote or encourage actions/behaviors such as suicide, self-harm, abuse, violence, purging, or eating disorders.

Shoto Todoroki
•⊱—≬—⊰•

Roughly one week had passed, and on a drizzling Sunday morning, Kaminari visited through the window yet again. The electric Quirk-user scooped his boyfriend into an embrace, and with exuberance dancing from his aura, he sat atop Todoroki's futon with Todoroki in his lap.

"I missed ya!" Kaminari whistled while nuzzling his head against Todoroki's cheek. "How'd you sleep?"

"It could've been better," he murmured as his head found its way onto Kaminari's shoulder.

Kaminari slid a pillow behind Todoroki's head and sprawled a blanket over them both. "Rest as long as you want in my arms," he blissfully whispered. "Have you eaten yet?"

With a transient shudder, Todoroki could recall as Endeavor spat his jaundiced, malevolent words of vitriol to begin the former's morning. "Lazy," Endeavor growled upon seeing his son still in bed by nine in the morning. "This is why you will always be a failure. You still can't get your act together. I gave you my time and my training for years, but I should have abandoned you when you were a child. If I could transfer your Quirk to someone else at the expense of your life, I would do it. I gave you years of lenience, and even when I put my foot down, it was not enough to prevent this abomination. You are nothing but a shameful disgrace. You have no excuses left as to why you haven't gotten a grip yet." A fierce heat had pulsated from his staggering being.

Stroking his fingers across Kaminari's elbow, Todoroki fell into silence as he nodded. The instances in which he chose not to speak for extended periods of time had perniciously proliferated, but Kaminari was assiduous in simply reassuring and supporting Todoroki rather than poking and prodding for the truth.

I did eat, Todoroki thought while snuggling himself into the comforting warmth of Kaminari's tenacious embrace, but I ate too much. I want to gain weight to prove that I can—though, I guess also to assuage the worries of the others—but it terrifies me to think of how fat I'd look afterwards. Not to mention how appalled I am to put food into my mouth... I'm useless, yes, but I'm tired of being useless. If I have to keep going... If I have to keep living... If I have to keep surviving...

"Hey, I wanna show you something." Todoroki lifted his head to Kaminari's amiable voice, and upon doing so, Kaminari smiled with teeth like the snow. "You see that, Shu? That's how happy I am to be with you right now! Thankshu for being here with me." The golden rings of sunlight ensconcing his onyx pupils coruscated with an infectious warmth.

Todoroki nodded as the undertone of a smile ghosted his lips. He couldn't quite fathom the pleasant, effervescent sensation that crackled in his stomach, but he wished to hold it fast like how Kaminari's arms held him. It almost felt as though tepid honey was being drizzled across his bones, and the lingering taste of its saccharine streams coated his mind for a transient moment.

Yet, such a tranquil reprieve from the envenomed fangs of his thoughts endured for only a few minutes longer before Kaminari departed for his own home. Todoroki pulled out his phone to hear with the aid of a voiceover feature that he had received another strand of messages from his classmates—many of his fellow comrades would text him every now and again to check in and see how he was doing. He replied to Yaoyorozu first.